There’s no better feeling than that feeling you feel when you feel all the hard work paying off. For many years, I’ve been conducting secret experiments into why people like Bon Jovi. Up until now, I haven’t been able to figure out why anyone would listen to the miserable, monotonous, mundane, so-called music they come up with. Through a procedure known as ‘stalking’ I’ve been able to pinpoint the exact moment a person becomes a Bon Jovi fan and wouldn’t you know, it’s one of those controlling cults:
That little boy is scary indeed. Do you think his parents think he is possessed or just gifted in a weird kind of way? This is the next serial killer in the making. I’m sorry, is he related to you? LOL
I can understand why you’re asking if he’s related to me. I asked myself the same question and the answer I arrived at was ‘No’. It’s no laughing matter though. I’m uncovering something so monumentally big, that it makes Watergate look like a slight variation of the truth. If I can prove that kids are brainwashed into becoming Bon Jovi fans, I can finally move on and do what I’ve always wanted to do with my life – brainwash kids into becoming Tom Waits fans!