1. If you are feeling dizzy, weak and nauseous, you are probably sick.
2. If you are probably sick and, instead of doing the smart thing (i.e. staying home and killing whatever freaking bug you have) you go out among your fellow humans, do not look at, greet, touch or breathe on anyone. Carry a can of Lysol at all times and spray everything that you touch that might, in turn, come in contact with some poor unsuspecting slob.1. Germs breed more prolifically than rabbits and they get bored if they have to stay in one spot, on one person.
3. Being a generous soul does not mean that you have to share germs with friends, co-workers and loved ones. Chances are really good they don’t want them, anyway.
4. What your grandmother told you about germs is right, unless your grandmother was a slob. In that case, forget it.
5. Animals can sense when we don’t feel good, so if your cat chooses to ignore you at this difficult time don’t take it personally. He thinks you need to rest more than you need to play with him. The minute he thinks you are better, he’ll be right back to pestering you as usual.
6. If you have a kind friend staying with you when you get sick, accept any help that is offered, be grateful and say thank you. A friend like this is worth more than anything else you can name.
1If anyone at work complains about the smell of the Lysol, remind them that you are saving them from your fate. If they still complain, spray the Lysol on their desks when they are not looking.