1. If you are feeling dizzy, weak and nauseous, you are probably sick.
2. If you are probably sick and, instead of doing the smart thing (i.e. staying home and killing whatever freaking bug you have) you go out among your fellow humans, do not look at, greet, touch or breathe on anyone. Carry a can of Lysol at all times and spray everything that you touch that might, in turn, come in contact with some poor unsuspecting slob.1. Germs breed more prolifically than rabbits and they get bored if they have to stay in one spot, on one person.
3. Being a generous soul does not mean that you have to share germs with friends, co-workers and loved ones. Chances are really good they don’t want them, anyway.
4. What your grandmother told you about germs is right, unless your grandmother was a slob. In that case, forget it.
5. Animals can sense when we don’t feel good, so if your cat chooses to ignore you at this difficult time don’t take it personally. He thinks you need to rest more than you need to play with him. The minute he thinks you are better, he’ll be right back to pestering you as usual.
6. If you have a kind friend staying with you when you get sick, accept any help that is offered, be grateful and say thank you. A friend like this is worth more than anything else you can name.
1If anyone at work complains about the smell of the Lysol, remind them that you are saving them from your fate. If they still complain, spray the Lysol on their desks when they are not looking.
Print this out before it becomes Flu Season! I hate sick martyrs although as someone who works from home, I really can’t complain. 🙂
Thank you for the affirmation that I am doing the right thing by staying home and going stir crazy for at least three days, just so I won’t spread illness all over New York City.
My current bout of whatever was the inspiration for the little tome above. We sometimes have to take our inspiration where we can get it.
I constantly feel dizzy, weak and nauseous and am sick but I refuse to go to the doctor for fear that she will tell me that I am sick. i think it’s a guy thing because Jill Y loves going to the doctor but then again, she loves getting her hair done too.
As a woman, I would like to say that getting your hair done is not something we love. It is a necessity of life, like eating, sleeping and shopping for shoes.
Touching isn’t near as bad as sneezing! Forget the Lysol and Stay Home when you are sick — not only are you likely to make others sick, but you can’t do your best work because you aren’t thinking clearly.
Some of us don’t think clearly even when we are well.
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