Here are some dramatizations of what it might look like sleeping in the RV.
We had to run the generator for a while overnight to take some of the edge off the heat that had now taken over central Kansas (Central Kansas is over 95% of Kansas, by the way). We really hadn’t used much of the generator at all on the trip. I think the final count was about 6 hours, and most of that was in Texas and Oklahoma to cool the rear of the vehicle. By now, the Walmart routine was a well-oiled machine. We knew that no one was going to hear or care about a generator running for a bit.. Anything less alarming than a couple of dead bodies pretty much goes unnoticed in a Walmart lot.
Over our usual rushed breakfast, my wife related a nightmare that she had overnight where she was back managing restaurants again. There was a tense standoff where she chose to quit so that she could go and pick up the kids. My son made an ominous, “Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn” sound, followed by, “Oh no. You had to quit your imaginary job!” Another demerit.
Anyway, here it was. The home stretch. Still lots of Kansas to go through. Most of which I had removed from memory by a professional. I never thought I’d ever be so excited to see Oklahoma.
Eh, it turned out that Oklahoma wasn’t much to write home about, either. As we crossed into Texas, we were again alerted to the plight of another of our wayward elderly.
But it’s also really hard to notice that it’s hot as hell here. At least Kansas had a breeze.
Soon we were picking up our not-yet-trusty pup, Roxy, at Top Paw Resort. They had just come in from the heat to cool off, so we attempted to make eye contact through the glass.
We’re over here.
All of a sudden, I got the feeling that people get in the zombie movies when all of a sudden the zombies catch wind of their living flesh.
Finally free!
We got her home and she was just interested in catching some rest.
She seems to have forgotten that she loves the taste of human flesh. We’re crossing our fingers. Behind our back. Because those were her favorites. In fact, her behavior is incredibly amazing. Is that a slightly different spot pattern? Maybe they gave us the wrong dog? I won’t tell if you won’t.
Last stop is to return the RV. Let’s see the before shot.
And the after.
Another thing that I noticed is that after driving the RV for so long, my regular car felt really small.
So that about does it. Good times. Thanks for following along. The End. Maybe next time.
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Promotional consideration not paid for by any of the following (though I’m totally open to accepting it):
El Monte RV Rental, McKinney, Tx
Top Paw Resort, Carrollton, Tx
Sierra Trading Post
Kuhl Clothing
Recreational Equipment, Inc.
Random Walmart parking lots
Brain Erasers, LLC
As a Kansas resident, I can tell that you missed one of our major tourist attractions — the Garden of Eden in Lucas (yes, I’m serious!) “Kansas’ only Visionary Sculpture Environment and stone log cabin. Internationally known as a prime example of the Grassroots Art genre.”
Well…I’ve never seen it either!
First, neither Kansas nor Walmart are happy with you. I heard Kansas is hoping a house falls on you. Second, in PA we are a little less blunt when our old people get lost. We call them Silver Alerts. I think I like the elderly posting better as no one has to figure out what the hell a silver alert is. And third, I would ask for a DNA test for Roxy. Not sure if the dog you dropped off is the dog you took home. I am suspicious.