Now that we know the NSA has been listening in on our cell phone conversations, it seems they no longer feel the need to keep their presence a secret. As a matter of fact, they keep calling me. Here are some of the things the NSA called to tell me:
Stop greeting people with “Sup, dawg” cause it sounds stupid when a white dude says it.
My nasty talk leaves a lot to be desired.
I should switch from Verizon to T-Mobile.
They were feeling insecure and could I tell them they look pretty.
She’s just not that into you.
Stop taking so many pictures of my dog with my iPhone.
Ross and Rachel end up together. (Apparently they’re a little behind on their intel.)
Could I get half pepperoni on the pizza I’m ordering? Pepperoni gives them gas.
They’re wearing a pink polka dot dress today and would like to be called Britney.
The ending of Man of Steel. (Damn, those guys are dicks sometimes.)
It’s so cool that you’e turning the receiver on the NSA and are sharing their telephone conversation with the world. Right on brother.
wow, they had so much to share with you! As it turns out, we can share with them more than we do our best friends! How cool! 🙂