Cruise To Nowhere

While everyone was very busy ooing and ahhing over the superbowl commercials for things like underwear from David Beckham and sparkling water from Scarlett Johanson – I was mesmerized by another commercial – one where the subtext was so heavy I couldn’t stop feeling – or laughing – one of those two but I’m pretty sure it was the later.  The ad features a woman sitting across the dinner table from her husband. Her voice over says the following:

You know the little song he”ll hum as he gets dressed

You know the shirt he’ll choose

The wine he’ll order

You know him

Yet now after exploring  vineyards in the hills of Italy

He doesn’t order the wine he always orders

He asks to be surprised

And for that moment

He’s new to you

Princess Cruises

Come back new

 

Now, let me tell you what she was really saying.

You know the little song he”ll hum as he gets dressed

YOU’VE ASKED HIM TO STOP A THOUSAND TIMES AND THE NEXT TIME HE DOES IT YOU WILL STAB HIM IN THE EYE WITH A FORK. YOU HATE THAT SONG. IT MAKES YOU MENTAL.

 

You know the shirt he’ll choose

YOU’VE TRIED TO THROW THE SHIRT OUT TEN BILLION TIMES. IT HAS A SPAGHETTI STAIN ON THE FRONT AND PIT STAINS UNDER THE ARMS. YOU HATE THAT SHIRT ALMOST AS MUCH AS YOU HATE HIM.

 

The wine he’ll order

HE HAS NEVER ASKED ONCE IF YOU’D LIKE TO CHOOSE THE WINE. HE DOESN’T CARE IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. SHUT UP.

 

You know him

YOU HATE HIM.

 

Yet now after exploring  vineyards in the hills of Italy

WHICH YOU HAD TO TALK HIM INTO FOR TEN YEARS. HE NEVER WANTS TO GO ANYWHERE. HE WHINED THE WHOLE TIME.

 

He doesn’t order the wine he always orders

HE STILL DIDN’T ASK YOU  HE JUST DECIDED TO WING IT.

 

He asks to be surprised

HE’S TOO BORED AND OLD TO CHOOSE. HE’S FINALLY BEEN WORN DOWN. THANK YOU JESUS.

 

And for that moment

He’s new to you

HUH, MAYBE YOU’RE NOT SO HIDEOUS AFTER ALL.

 

Princess Cruises

Come back new

 

FUNNY… I kinda do feel like a cruise.  By myself.  Thanks Princess.