Pork-and-Tofu Stir Fry and One-Billion Jumping Chinese | HumorOutcasts

Pork-and-Tofu Stir Fry and One-Billion Jumping Chinese

February 12, 2014
By

Chinese Entree

PORK-AND -TOFU STIR FRY

INGREDIENTSPorkTofuStir-

12 ounce firm tofu
1 pound pork tenderloin
3 garlic cloves
1/2 tablespoon cornstarch
1 teaspoon hot-pepper paste or chili-garlic sauce
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 teaspoons sherry
2 teaspoons soy sauce
1 teaspoon peanut oil
1 tablespoon sesame oil
1/2 cup chicken or vegetable stock

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor
a wok would be nice as well

PREPARATION

Cut tofu into 1/2″ cubes. Use food processor to shred pork. Mince garlic cloves.

Add pork, garlic, cornstarch, hot-pepper paste, red pepper flakes, oil, sherry, and soy sauce to mixing bowl. Toss ingredients until pork is thoroughly coated. (You make take the toss instruction in a non-culinary way if your guests look upon your efforts and say, “Ew, I don’t like Chinese.”)

Add peanut oil, sesame oil, and ingredients from mixing bowl to skillet. (Ask for a wok for Christmas.) on medium-high heat for 2-to-3 minutes or until pork is no longer pink. Stir frequently. Add tofu. Sauté for 1 minute or until tofu is heated through. Stir in chicken stock and cook covered on medium-high heat for 2 minutes. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) It’s comforting to know that the Earth’s orbit will not be affected if all billion or more Chinese jump off a chair at the same time. Physicists say so. So there. So no nation needs to develop a counter-jumping program.

2) However, an experiment in Britain in 2001 had school kids jumping off chairs at the same time. The reason for this trial completely escapes me. Sounds like fun though. Anyway, this scientific research caused a 2.0 earthquake. 2.0! Pshaw, I’m from California. That’s not an earthquake. Pish!

– Chef Paul

 

3novels

Please check out Paul De Lancey’s books on Amazon.com.

or visit his website www.lordsoffun.com for signed copies.

 

Share this:

Paul De Lancey

Paul De Lancey writes in multiple genres: adventure, westerns, morality, time travel, thriller, and culinary, all spiced with zaniness. He is a frequent contributor to HumorOutcasts. His novels “Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms?” “Beneficial Murders,” “We’re French and You’re Not,” and “The Fur West” and his cookbook Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World have won acclaim from award-winning authors.

Paul is also the writer of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics. Dr. De Lancey obtained his Doctorate in Economics from the University of Wisconsin. His thesis, “Official Reserve Management and Forecasts of Official Reserves,” disappears from bookstore shelves so quickly that most would-be purchasers can never find it in stock.

Paul, known to his friends as Paul, was the proud co-host of the online literary events Bump Off Your Enemies, The Darwin Murders, and Tasteful Murders. He also co-collected, co-edited, and co-published the e-book anthologies resulting from these events. Perhaps Mr. De Lancey will someday become a literary giant without having to die for the title.

The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Paul ran for President of the United States in 2012! Woo hoo! On the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Estimates of Bacon & Chocolate’s share of the votes range from 3 to 1.5% of the total. El Candidato also lost a contentious campaign to be El Presidente of Venezuela. In late 2013, Chef Paul participated in the International Bento Competition. The great statesman is again running for president, this time under HumorOutcasts’ sponsorship. Contact Paul before he gets elected to get that ambassadorship to Tahiti you’ve always wanted.

Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep.

His books are available at: www.lordsoffun.com and amazon.com.

More Posts - Website

Share this Post:

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Responses to Pork-and-Tofu Stir Fry and One-Billion Jumping Chinese

  1. Kathy Minicozzi
    February 13, 2014 at 8:04 am

    What’s an earthquake? 😉

  2. February 12, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    I have to say now that the counter jumping program is not needed, I can rest a lot easier. Pass the Pork and Tofu please!

  3. February 12, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    Well, well, I’ve actually been concerned about the Earth’s orbit. Relieved to know that I can calm down.



User Login

New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
Boomer on the Ledge
By Molly Stevens and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle



New Release
Heartly God?
By Wil 3. and Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle






Archives