This One Tip Is All You Need When You Rent A Car | HumorOutcasts

This One Tip Is All You Need When You Rent A Car

August 18, 2014
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Rental carI love vacations.  Who doesn’t?  I recently went to Florida for one.  Okay, it wasn’t vacation so much as it was a “If I don’t get out of here I’m going to lose my mind” trip.

I take those pretty regularly, as I’m frequently on the verge of losing my mind.  You should know that if you read my blog.  Actually, if you read my blog, you most likely believe I’ve already lost it.

It’s not an illogical assumption.

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Whenever I go to Florida I rent a car.  I don’t need anything flashy, as I like to keep a low profile.  I don’t want to draw attention to myself in my tankini and pale legs.

I usually rent the cheapest car there is, which frequently doesn’t include power windows.  It’s okay.  I need the work out.

This trip was no different, and I got a sweet ride, complete with automatic windows AND automatic locks.  I was ballin’.

I like to go to the same beach every day.  It’s down a long strip on A1A, which is Beachfront Avenue.  I’m confident the beach I frequent is the area Vanilla Ice sang about in his catchy tune that was completely stolen from David Bowie.

I drove around forever in my rented ride, feeling every bump and pothole in my less-than-luxurious automobile.  I finally located a spot on the street and parallel parked that bad boy.

street with cars

I’m an amazing parallel parker.  This has nothing to do with the story, but I felt it was relevant.

I pumped approximately $20.00 into the meter, because I knew this particular municipality would give you a ticket if you were even one second over your expired time.

As always, I had a million things running through my head, so I grabbed everything I needed and scurried away to the beach for some relaxation.

Just kidding.  I scurried away to the beach to work, but it felt better than sitting in a stuffy office.

After several hours on the beach, I headed back to the car, excited to use my automatic unlocking device.  One problem:  I had no idea where my car was.

Sure, I could walk up and down and look for it…if I knew what it looked like.  I didn’t.

In all the rush of getting the car and getting to the beach, I completely forgot to pay attention to the type of car I rented.

Things like color, make, size and model were details I suddenly wished I would have noted. It was time for some investigative work.

lisa with key

Looking at the keys told me it was a Toyota.  Great.  It’s not like that was one of the most popular cars on the road.  Yeah, that wouldn’t be difficult to find.

So I did what anyone would do in that situation.  I walked up and down the street clicking the unlock button, looking for my rental car and hoping the battery in the clicker was good.

Fortunately, the fine automobile I rented had a charged battery in the clicker, and I was finally able to locate my rental car.  It’s a Toyota Yaris, in case you were wondering.

Make no mistake, that’s something I won’t forget anytime soon.

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Lisa Newlin

Lisa is a humor writer who plays an unconvincing lawyer in year life. She prefers dogs to most people, and food over most everything. Her blog, http://lisanewlin.com will make you feel better about your own life. It will also remind you that vodka is the answer to everything. (Except if the question is "What should I throw on this fire?" Then the answer is definitely NOT vodka.) She is also a co-author of the bestselling humor books, "I Just Want to Be Alone" and "'You've Got Lipstick On Your Teeth,' And Other Things Only Heard From Your Friends In The Powder Room." You should buy them immediately on Amazon.com.

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4 Responses to This One Tip Is All You Need When You Rent A Car

  1. August 19, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    I get a kick out watching people, after a long Dodger game, trying to find their cars in the dark parking lots – all using the same method you just described. The technique is rendered useless when a hundred people are all doing it at the same time. It becomes a concert of beeps, chirps, flashing lights and swearing.

    • August 19, 2014 at 8:35 pm

      You’re absolutely right! Now that everyone has those clickers it kind of defeats the purpose. Fortunately, I just looked for a super crappy car and I was in luck!

  2. August 19, 2014 at 11:43 am

    Lisa, I don’t want you to feel bad. We have 3 kids who drive and 6 cars. I very often forget which car I am left with to drive and further more, I have been known to forget where I parked it. I relate to your story!

    • August 19, 2014 at 8:34 pm

      You’re so sweet to make me feel better! Sadly, sometimes I do this with my own car in the parking garage at work. There’s never spots on the same level every day so I always forget which color I park on. So embarrassing!



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