It creeps up on you, like a mugger on a dark street. One minute you are dancing down the sidewalk of life with energy and confidence, the next minute – WHAM! You’re on the ground, wondering where the sucker punch came from.
I’m talking about getting older. Senior citizen stuff, and all that.
It doesn’t take long to get old, because the older we get, the faster we travel through time. How else can we explain why our high school just had a 50-year reunion when we only graduated a few years ago?
Where is Albert Einstein when you need him?
The paradox is that, even if our inner selves are in denial about the passage of time, our bodies aren’t. In other words, we end up being 20-year-olds with wrinkles, cataracts, liver spots, arthritis, high blood pressure, poor balance, high blood sugar, high cholesterol, backaches, gray/white hair and/or bald spots. We are tempted to spend a lot of time in the recliner watching old retro TV shows on cable, because it’s easier to do that than to go out and do something fun.
To avoid that fate, I called a meeting between My True Self (who I call “Me”), My Brain and various parts of my body. Here is a portion of the minutes of that meeting.
ME: Thank you all for coming. I wanted to meet with you to discuss a problem and to see if we can find a solution. I keep getting messages from all of you telling me I am old. My doctor tells me the same thing, and I don’t like it. I am the same person I always was and most of the time I feel like an overage teenager. I would appreciate some support from all of you, instead of constant suggestions that I should act my age.
LEFT SHOULDER: Ow!
ME: Do you mind? I’m talking!
LEFT SHOULDER: Well, you moved the wrong way and Brain here sent a pain signal down the nervous system!
BRAIN: I get blamed for every damned thing! That’s the thanks I get for working so hard and keeping myself fit for almost 71 years!
LEFT KNEE: Fit? You call yourself fit? You can’t even keep her from falling! I have arthritis because of that!
HAIR: What about me? I’m almost all gray now. I used to be such a gorgeous shade of dark brown!
ME: Please, everybody! I have something to say and I’d like to say it!
LEFT SHOULDER, LEFT KNEE, BRAIN AND HAIR: Shut up!
The meeting degenerated into a communal shouting match and My True Self was unable to persuade my brain and my body to help her rejuvenate me.
That’s okay. I still plan to ride the carousel in Central Park, take up bicycle riding again, bum a ride on a motorcycle, take up ballroom dancing, travel to Italy and continue to see the latest movies, preferably in IMAX 3D.