A Grueling Sessions | HumorOutcasts

A Grueling Sessions

November 15, 2017

You probably already know my middle name is Beauregard.
And, based on recent statements, you may think that I have no regard
For being truthful or direct. Some pundits call it perjury.
Insinuate that I tell lies? You’ve never been to church with me.

I lead a very busy life. I meet with all the diplomats.
So much is going on that sometimes I can’t recall all the facts.
Now, as Attorney General, I’m leader of the DOJ.
I’d like to set the tone; however — Donald Trump prefers his way.

From all things Russia many months ago I said that I’d recuse,
And recently have offered, “I do not recall” as my excuse.
You think that’s perjury? You surely don’t know my mens rea.
Some say that I’m side-stepping truth. Well, buddy — that’s the whole idea.

The Democrats ask who I met and what I might have said to them,
Whereas those on the other side are focused on uranium.
Jim Jordan’s stuck on Hillary — “A special counsel!” was his cry.
But “looks like” as a legal standard? Brother Jim, that just won’t fly.

For decades, I served Alabama proudly in the U.S. Senate.
I left that job at Trump’s request — and right now, I sure do regret it.
Instead of sitting way up high, participating in the grilling,
I’m being asked to choose if teenage girls were victimized, or willing.

Instead of Strange, my open seat may go to Judge Roy Stewart Moore.
But every day, more voices claim that he’s a choice they all abhor.
A scheme is underway to get me back, perhaps by this December.
Why did I join the Trump campaign? At this point — I do not remember.

John Branning

John Branning is a humorist whose writings have left literally millions of readers with no idea who he is. But for those who have managed to stumble upon his self-deprecating and hubristically-inclined writing, he’s left them in stitches. And in this context, “in stitches” is considered to be an enjoyable experience versus something painful resulting from a visit to the emergency room.

His newest book, “Keys To The Truculent Me,” is available on Amazon as is his first book, “Selfie-Facing,” which was recognized by The Huffington Post as one of “The Best Self-Published Books of 2016.” You can find more of his posts, where he uses all the vowels and most of the consonants on his keyboard, at JohnBranning.com.

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2 Responses to A Grueling Sessions

  1. November 16, 2017 at 7:53 am

    I think some major poetry journal should take this one!

    • November 16, 2017 at 9:06 am

      Yes, Donna – I’m thinking of submitting it to “Poets & Whiners” magazine.

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