The Mayor Takes a Bicycle Ride | HumorOutcasts

The Mayor Takes a Bicycle Ride

May 24, 2011

It was a beautiful day here in the trailer park.   And since there were no major backups at the sewage plant and everything flowed as scheduled, I decided to take a break from my mayoral duties and go for a bicycle ride to relieve some stress.

I had painted some flames on the side of my old Schwinn, so that if I passed any chicks, they would think I’m cool.   And it gives me a great feeling of pride to be riding the coolest bicycle in town.

Even as a child, I enjoyed riding bicycles.   I suppose the hardest part of learning to ride my bike was learning about  “the pavement”.    I still have some scars from those years, but I never let  the fear of getting scars stop me from doing anything.  After all, I have been married three times.

There’s a nice bike trail near here that used to be where the old rail road tracks were, so I figured I would start out there.   As I was riding north on the trail, some guy and his wife on a tandem bike, flew past me.    He was pedaling like hell,  and she was yelling something at him at the top of her voice.    I’m not sure if she was talking in tongues or what, but I couldn’t make out anything of what she was saying.   But she sure was going on and on!

I kept riding and about two miles further, I saw the woman lying alongside the trail.   I stopped, and asked if she was all right.   She Yelled,

“I fell off the damn bike!  Can you stop that nut and send him back after me”?

So I kicked my flaming Schwinn into high gear and high-tailed it after her husband.  He was at least three miles ahead of me.  When I got alongside of him I said, “Hey buddy, perhaps you didn’t notice, but your wife fell off about three miles back.”

He replied, “Oh, thank God! I was afraid that I had gone deaf.”

Share this Post:

Tags: , , , , , ,

7 Responses to The Mayor Takes a Bicycle Ride

  1. Stephanie Queen
    May 26, 2011 at 7:18 am

    Very funny Mayor Lund! Maybe riding a bike can cause deafness and that is why so many married men take part.

  2. May 24, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    Mayor, I am so glad you get time off from your busy schedule to ride a bike. Maybe if you got a tandem bike, a nice girl will find you and you can have true love like that couple too.:)

  3. Mayor Lund
    May 24, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    Oh, I see your in favor of population control. Thats a great concept, but it’s no damned fun!

    • Mayor Lund
      May 24, 2011 at 7:30 pm

      That comment was directed to my Southern Cousin.

  4. Jack Sass
    May 24, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    Reminds me of something I saw on a bikers helmet, it said “If you can read this, the bitch fell off.”

    • Mayor Lund
      May 24, 2011 at 7:27 pm

      Oh Jack! They must have stole that line from on of my used/ embroidered Trojans.

  5. Mayor Lund's Redneck Cousin
    May 24, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    Riding a bike with flames painted on it causes a low sperm count. Of course that is not always a bad thing…..

User Login

New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle

New Release
Lite Whines and Laughter: Mild Rants and Musings on the Mundane
By Lee Gaitan and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle

New Release
It Comes From Within: Living with Bipolar Illness
By Michael Solomon. and Shorehouse Books

Available in Paperback and Kindle