The Sexy Robot — Have Relationships Come to This? | HumorOutcasts

The Sexy Robot — Have Relationships Come to This?

June 6, 2011
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Shopping for a man’s gift always presents a challenge. Sure there are the golf clubs, the practical-yet-always-welcome-case of beer, the 52-inch dream TV, but for some men, these popular gifts are not enough. Some men need that extra special gift that says, “I am the guy, and I want to live my life my way.” For those men, the perfect gift might come in the form of a custom-made sex robot.

Now, don’t scoff or get judgmental. This is a legitimate product. Okay, it’s true that TrueCompanion.com, the makers of the sex robot, debuted the little lady at the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas in 2010, but since then she has gained a large following and a good amount of credibility. Sure she comes with a hefty price tag of at least $7,000, but for the many men who fantasize about having a Stepford wife, the sex robot is perfect.

Yes, the female sex robot is not random pieces of metal welded together. No, this robot, which is named Roxxy, is human in almost every detail. Roxxy has a circulatory system which gives her body heat. She “performs” in and out of the bedroom plus she offers words of encouragement and support for the guy who buys her. She can be programmed to have a conversation, express her love and admiration and she can feel and react to her man’s human touch. Yes, that means Roxxy the Robot achieves orgasm.

In fact, Roxxy does everything except housework and cooking. It figures that the fantasy woman would get out of picking up dirty underwear off the floor or dealing with the after effects of her man eating three chili dogs for lunch.

The sexy robot is the dream child of an ex-Bell Labs engineer Douglas Hines, and this engineer has thought of pretty much everything. To prevent a customer from getting bored with his delightful doll companion, each Roxxy comes with other pre-programmed personalities. Yes, Men, you can select the personality that fits your mood. One minute Roxxy is Mature Martha, an experienced but loving woman, but if that does nothing for you, you can make Roxxy become Frigid Farrah, Wild Wendy, S&M Sally or Young Yoko. I don’t have to go into what their personalities are like–do I? I think their names are pretty much self-explanatory.

Those who order the robots can select skin tone, hair color and hair style. Yes, the robot is as close to perfect as possible. Would you like to know the icing on the cake? You can trade them amongst your family and friends. You can host Roxxy parties, or if you prefer, you can trade them online. Yes, TrueCompanion.com says it’s like wife-swapping without the moral disgust. Really? I think this company might have set the bar for moral disgust just a tad low.

I hope most women are cringing at the very idea of the Roxxy Robot sex doll. But just in case you are not, and you think it’s unfair that men have a sexy robot, feel slighted no longer. I have more good news: TrueCompanion.com makes a Rocky doll – yes, the male equivalent of Roxxy for women. We can have the perfect man too.

Rocky comes with all the right parts that move and vibrate. In fact, the company says that being with Rocky is like being with a well-endowed super hunk who puts a woman’s pleasure before his own. Well, they were a bit more explicit, but you get the idea. If you can take Rocky out and make him pick up the tab for dinner, he would be someone a lot of women could appreciate. If he fixed the plumbing or the car, and watched chick flicks without complaining, I think women everywhere might think about trading in their human models for the robot.

I think I should contact the company. Since I am looking into the whole concept, maybe they could lend me a Rocky so I can see firsthand what all the fuss is about. If nothing else, I can at least sit him in the passenger seat of my Escape and go in the carpool lanes. Yes, he might add a little excitement to my daily drive.

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Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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21 Responses to The Sexy Robot — Have Relationships Come to This?

  1. June 7, 2011 at 6:38 am

    Mike, you started my day off with a loud giggle!

  2. Deb Martin-Webster
    June 6, 2011 at 9:50 pm

    If the Rocky doll can take me for long walks along the beach, tell me I look good in spandex and put the toilet seat down . . . I’m sold!!

    • June 6, 2011 at 9:53 pm

      I would buy him if he could massage my back without it having to lead to other things.

  3. June 6, 2011 at 8:42 pm

    If I’m having sex, I’d prefer the whole skin to skin contact. No matter how human-like the sex robot can be, it’s won’t be real. It’s like porn, it’s good, but doesn’t fully satisfy you.

    • June 6, 2011 at 8:45 pm

      You are so right. I don’t understand the mentality that goes with this product. To me it’s just sort of sick.

      • June 6, 2011 at 8:50 pm

        It’s like live/life porn. There are so many things in the world that the creators of TrueCompanion.com can do with that money, time and effort, than some sleazy robot sex toy.

        • June 6, 2011 at 8:54 pm

          Read their history. They had some story that he made the robots for people who lost family or friends in 9/11. I didn’t get why he thought this was a good thing. Very creepy.

          • June 6, 2011 at 8:56 pm

            That is so disturbing. So wrong in so many ways.

  4. June 6, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    Nah, I’d rather have the 52″ TV. Or the kick ass BBQ grill. Or the zero turn mower. Or the……well, you get the point.

    • June 6, 2011 at 6:09 pm

      I was all ready to order one until I read the fine print and saw that they talked.

      • June 6, 2011 at 6:10 pm

        Not sure why that comment went there, but Matty is on to something. I might be more interested in the sex doll if its head was a 52″ TV and it’s ass was a BBQ gas grill. Then at least we’d come close to justifying that price tag. Seriously, for that price you could get 2 of Charlie Sheen’s hookers for the night.

        • June 6, 2011 at 6:42 pm

          I think the comment wound up here, Eric because you got so flustered at the subject of this post. You got distracted and put your comment in the wrong place! LOL

          • June 6, 2011 at 10:40 pm

            At least it was just his comment that Eric put in the wrong place. If he had a sex doll with a gas grill ass, he would have to be very careful what he put “in the wrong place” (as my wife calls it)!

  5. June 6, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    If Roxxy doesn’t cook, I don’t care.

    Unrelated, and call me old fashioned, a female robot commenting on the size of my member just doesn’t do much for me.

    • June 6, 2011 at 12:51 pm

      Actually, I like that old-fashioned attitude. It is at least more “human”.

  6. NANCY CZERWINSKI
    June 6, 2011 at 11:42 am

    Donna, I wonder how you would introduce Roxxy! Let’s just say said husband forgets and leaves her in the living room. Then maybe anybody stops by and there she is! That could really get interesting! JUST SAYING! LOL Now as far as me if I had Rocky say sitting in the dining room I would introduce him as my cousin from the wrong side of the family! I think that just might work.

    • June 6, 2011 at 12:52 pm

      If I ever get filthy rich, Nancy, I am going to get one to give to my neighbor as a Christmas present. She has sworn off men for good. I think Rocky might serve her well.

  7. Jack Sass
    June 6, 2011 at 10:18 am

    I’m guessing here, but the Yoko model, does it break up bands named after insects? That’s a legitimate question, you know? But seven grand as a starting price? I don’t know about that. That’s a lot of cash for something that doesn’t get embarrassed when I tell crude jokes in public. Not to mention it probably doesn’t throw stuff at you when it’s angry. I’d miss that. Na, I’ll pass. 😉

    • June 6, 2011 at 10:42 am

      My God, Jack! Do you have a sensitive side? I have to re-think life as I know it. 🙂

  8. Ted Thomas
    June 6, 2011 at 9:09 am

    HA, that is great. I can hear a customer in an ER saying “I swear doc the instruction manual said she could do that”. 🙂

    • June 6, 2011 at 9:13 am

      Yes, I would think that might be a problem! LOL



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