“Experts” | HumorOutcasts


October 12, 2012

It occurred to me recently that there are a lot of experts who cover a lot of things in our society anymore. We have financial professionals who are passionate about being more expert than you or me when it comes to managing money. I’m too pragmatic to hire a financial professional to manage my hard-earned dollars. Anyone who knows me has seen how I am capable of stretching every last cent out of  ‘George’ before releasing that dollar from my grip. Lawyers elude me. It’s difficult to single out one particular Lawyer over another… Aren’t they ALL experts?

Enough about people experts for a moment. How ‘bout those experts for our four-legged friends; horses, for example. Do you know there are experts out there who provide healing touch for those beautiful animals?  I’m particularly in awe of those whisperers who psychically communicate with animals. I wish I could do that. I would love to have had lunch and engaging conversation with Secretariat when he was alive…

Let’s talk about trees. Imagine my joy when I thumbed through the yellow pages a few years after we moved into our home and found a ‘Tree Expert’. The reason for my quest was the once beautiful perimeter of dense, lush trees was thinning more and more each year. It seemed every spring; one (sometimes two trees) had died off. After three years of this recurring situation, something had to be done and I certainly was no tree expert. So I called them up and explained we needed help because our wooded perimeter was rapidly taking on the likeness of what the Lorax had experienced. For pity sake, those trees were one of the key selling points in our purchasing our home and they were systematically dropping off with each passing year.

I’ve saved the best for last—the corporate world. Now there’s where the endless bounty of experts truly resides. Don’t believe it for a second that there isn’t an expert for any kind of need one must have fulfilled in the workplace. BUT, in the corporate world, these pros are not called ‘experts’. I believe they are consultants. If I understand the role of a consultant (and I’m always up for enlightenment should I misstate my assumption); I believe he or she is someone who used to put in the time in exchange for a paycheck. It is when he or she has reached the pinnacle of adoration they sever their relationship with the company. Strategically, they allow a few months to pass (just enough time to really be missed) and it is then they call upon that former employer. They are now ready to become a consultant for this amazing organization they were reluctant to leave in the first place and for far more pay! Life truly is a series of circles on many levels.

I hope some day there’s such a profession as Expert Opinionist. At the risk of sounding rather arrogant, I do believe I’d be brilliant at it …

Diane Lunsford

I am a writer. I remember the first time I said those words out loud, I had to say them a few more times before the concept stuck. That was over 25 years ago and I still begin most days tasking myself to write something—anything as long as I keep paying the words forward. Humor plays an important role in my writing because a true writer needs a great sense of humor and some really thick skin. I can’t even imagine the fall out each time that proverbial thanks, but no thanks comes in the mail—okay, email nowadays if I didn't have humor. I’m one of five children, smack-dab in the middle of my siblings and had a set of parents who did a great job of raising our herd. I'm a wife with a great husband and mom with two amazing daughters. Words matter and when they’re strategically placed to command laughter due to their precise placement, what a symphony! I’m never going to stop writing and laughing. I’ll see you on the other side some day. I’ll be the one with the red balloon; standing at the end of the…wearing a…

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2 Responses to “Experts”

  1. October 12, 2012 at 5:00 pm

    I definitely think there will be a TON of competition–just hope they have a sense of humor… Cheers!

  2. October 12, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    I think you will have a lot of competition in the expert opinion category, Diane. But that might make the world so much fun!

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