Count on a bar to come up with unusual contests. Count on a Brooklyn bar to think up the ultimate one: The Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest. The Kings County Bar will be sponsoring this, in honor of those who, despite their tiny endowments, have managed to keep women happy.
If you REALLY want to read about this, click here. This is where I found it. So far, very few contestants have come forward and volunteered for this, which is not surprising.
I won’t be attending this event, for a couple of reasons:
1. It’s embarrassing, and my Catholic school upbringing is screaming “NO!” in my brain.
2. Brooklyn is a 2-hour commute from where I live, which is too much trouble.
If this turns out to be the most popular post that I have written for Humor Outcasts so far, I think I’ll take my next swim in the Hudson River.
I’d say there will be some very expensive cars outside The Kings County Bar on that night!
Some very expensive LONG cars!
Do the men need women sponsors, to vouch for their ability to satisfy? Do they do hormone testing, to ensure that no woman wins the contest?
Those are very good questions. If I were a journalist, I would call the bar and ask them. Fortunately, I am not a journalist.
Yup, doesn’t surprise me that they’re expecting a small crowd. But knock on wood, they’ll have a great contest.
Well, the title might be embarrassing to some guys, but the “generous” cash award might make the winner feel better about it — depending, of course, on just how generous the cash amount is.
What, no comments? Come on, guys! Where’s all the snark when I need it? 😉