Halloween Jagoff – My Personal Therapy | HumorOutcasts

Halloween Jagoff – My Personal Therapy

October 24, 2013


My blog  posts are sometimes my personal therapy outlet.  This is one of them.

I love Halloween but I’ve been carrying the emotional scars from trick or treating, for years, caused by an older lady in my childhood neighborhood.

I swear that this older lady in our neighborhood was Roger Goodell’s, i.e, Roger Go-ta-hell’s, mother.  She just LOVED to torture people, ESPECIALLY kids, because she COULD.

For Halloween, she would give out Huggies juice barrels and cans of soda as treats.  Do you know how HEAVY those things get at about your 50th house?  If I recall correctly, she even high-dropped those cans into our bags from the top of an 8-foot ladder to increase the impact. (I couldn’t really tell since I couldn’t see through my one-size-fits-all plastic molded mask held on to my face with a thin string of elastic thread.)

So this goes out to that neighbor lady…not sure why you chose to hand out ANVIL-DRINKS  at Halloween Mrs. Whomever-You-Were, but I hope you’re still torturing, the larger, healthier kids of today in your neighborhood by giving out dumbbells and medicine balls for trick or treat.  I’d hate for those kids to not have the same emotional scars as me 20 years from now, Ya Jagoff!

John Chamberlin

I write about Jagoffs, i.e. stupid politicians, awful sports officials, dumb criminals, bad drivers, ignorant people and on and on. BTW, Jagoff is NOT a swear word. It can be just as confusing as their, there and they're. Sometimes it's actually used as a term of endearment. My Pittsburgh blog is YaJagoff.com. Twitter is @YaJagoff.

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One Response to Halloween Jagoff – My Personal Therapy

  1. Kathy Minicozzi
    October 24, 2013 at 3:40 pm

    So how come nobody ever thought of throwing raw eggs at her front door or toilet papering her yard?

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