Riding Beerback

They say you can lead a horse to a watering-hole but you can’t make him drink.

This is the kind of story that makes me think I could be totally wrong about the wisdom of allowing guns in bars. Perhaps it makes complete sense, and I’m just some gun-shy, pansy-ass, lefty-liberal who doesn’t get it.

The Daily Mail recently reported on a strange episode at a saloon in Louisiana. A “highly intoxicated” guy exited Cowboys (the saloon) in the late night/early morning hours. Apparently angered by something, he crossed the parking lot and headed for his car. You know where this is headed, right? Another depressing story about senseless gun violence?

Nope, this is an uplifting story about highly entertaining violence.

The guy opened the trailer attached to his truck, removed his horse, and got on it. Then he rode the horse into the bar. The horse caused quite a disturbance, no doubt because it didn’t want a drink. So another patron attempted to get Jim Beam and Mr Ed to leave.

Bad move.

Drunken equestrians don’t horse around when they’re challenged. The guy lassoed his nemesis with a rope and proceeded to drag him around the parking lot.

God, how I love America.

This episode leads to two obvious conclusions. First, you should never frequent a Western-themed “cowboy bar” that’s in a shopping mall next to a nail salon (an obvious fake, it’s probably owned by Chucky Cheese). And secondly, having guns in bars makes sense, because it’s just like they say – you don’t bring a horse to a gun fight.