A Carnival Cruise that was supposed to be a fun and luxurious journey to Mexico has turned into the vacation from hell for thousands of passengers when an engine fire caused the ship to lose propulsion and stranded them in the Gulf of Mexico.
Each day out at sea finds the accommodations deteriorating. Most of the toilets aren’t operating and many of the rooms have been filled with urine thanks to the failure of the sewage system. Due to the lack of power, there is no refrigeration, which is adding to the onboard stench.
The stink is so horrible many passengers are sleeping in tents on deck. To further add insult to injury, instead of the intended destination of Cozumel, a tugboat is towing the crippled luxury liner to Mobile, Alabama.
As it turns out, Carnival is admitting the whole situation has been intentional. Inspired by the theme cruise craze, Carnival has decided to throw their boat into the arena. Carnival has revealed that the stranded passengers have been the unwitting test subjects of Carnival’s theme cruise debut: “The Honey Boo-Boo Experience.”
On this amazing cruise, passengers get to live in the same conditions as the little pageant scamp. There’s the “More Buttah, More Bettah Buffet” where diners can indulge in sumptuous platters of sticks of butter (unsalted if you’re health conscious). You can even marry your cousin.
At the end of your amazing night, you get to fall asleep under the stars surrounded by others and inhale their funk. And just when you think it can’t possibly get any better, you arrive in Mobile, Alabama.
There’s even a parting gift. As you disembark, you get your own pet chicken, Nugget. Actually, it’s a chicken nugget. So choose your dipping sauce and holla for a dolla. The future of luxury cruises is here at last.