There Was a Dress But Now There’s a Breast

disappearing dressLooking for a special outfit that will tell your date exactly how you feel? Maybe you should consider the Intimacy Dress which disappears as the wearer becomes sexually aroused.  The dress, which has  leather ribbons and efoils embedded in it, measures a person’s heartbeat, and as the pulse races, the opaque fabric disappears exposing the body beneath. Designed by Dan Roosegaarde, the Intimacy Dress is a prototype for an entire line of clothing that Roosegaarde hopes to introduce in the future.

While the dress might take the guesswork out of how a date might end, it could also add some confusion. What if the woman wearing the dress is sexually aroused by someone other than her date or spouse?  That could be an awkward moment. Since the dress works by measuring a racing pulse, what happens if the woman is running for a cab or eats a spicy burrito for dinner?  Answer: she’s naked  before dessert. While men might find this appealing, a woman might find this exposure a bit unsettling.

On the other hand, what type of woman wears a disappearing dress? My guess is someone who is a little bit adventurous and not at all shy. Since the dress has the potential of showing off body parts with little provocation, the wearer cannot be too concerned about said body parts being on display.  I guess she could wear underwear to maintain some sense of mystery but to be honest, that seems a bit hypocritical to me.

This dress would be my nightmare—literally. I have that nightmare where I am back in school or about to give a big presentation and I somehow show up wearing no clothes or just underwear.   Understandably, this sends me into panic mode in my dream, but if I were wearing the Intimacy Dress, not only would I not be panicked, I’d be scoring dates to last a lifetime. Remember, it’s a dream and I’m always at least 20 years younger in my R.E.M state.

While I don’t think I am a target audience for the Intimacy Dress, I am happy to learn that its designer is planning on making clothing for both sexes down the line.  If that’s the case, might I suggest that eHarmony and (but probably not Christian Mingle) offer this illuminating wardrobe as a tool to their clients to help them figure out if  they have found a winner in their dating profiles.  If there is chemistry; there are no clothes.  If the date is a dud, the duds remain visible.

The Intimacy line could prove beneficial in not only the  romance department but the  law enforcement realm. It could take the place of the traditional polygraph test used by police departments.  Forget the wires and the boring “yes” and  “no” questions.  Strap on that dress, ask the questions and expose a liar.  I bet this would make the police interrogation process a lot more interesting.

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15 thoughts on “There Was a Dress But Now There’s a Breast”

  1. OK, enough about the dress! WTF does the model in the picture have in her hair?! Her whole body looks like it’s been TP’ed, which also disappears when you wet it!

  2. This clothing line will be rejected by the Grammys since they now have a dress code that prohibits wardrobe melting and malfunctions. Seriously.

  3. I could just see a guy and girl on dinner date and her dress disappears. Guy says, “Wow, you must really be into me?” Girl says, “I think it was the waitress.” Guy says, “I didn’t know you were bi.” Girl says, “Neither did I!”

    Hilarious post Donna!

  4. I can just imagine the double-date that’s going as well as can be hoped for and the two girlies who were wearing the same dress are suddenly wearing less of the same dress and of course this night always ends with the two girlies more than liking each other but enough about my Thursday night!

  5. Wow this dress might need to come with a warning label stating, “Things may appear larger than they actually are.” Funny one Donna!

  6. “The dress, which has leather ribbons and efoils embedded in it, measures a person’s heartbeat, and as the pulse races, the opaque fabric disappears exposing the body beneath. “

    Damn! You may have to sew a few buttons back on after the traditional ripping off of clothes from a sudden outburst of passion before making it to the bedroom, but that’s gotta be cheaper than buying something you can only wear once. Provided of course that the wear-er becomes aroused with their date.

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