Admit It. This Is Why We Watch Sports On TV.

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Imagine for a moment that Freud came back to life and landed a job on Sports Center. Sitting there in an unimaginably shiny suit, he’d probably tell us that pro-sports offer humans a mechanism to deal with their self-esteem issues. “If our team is a winner,” he’d say while some former quarterback stares in disbelief, “then so are we.”

This, of course, is why psychoanalysts never get those jobs — they’d actually hurt beer sales. But I’ve done my own amateur psychoanalysis and I’ve discovered why we really tune in:

The Nut Shot. It’s like a diamond — rare but beautiful. That’s not a soccer ball you see flying through the air.

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Guys hugging and crying on each other’s shoulders. So touching.

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Watching other people exercise means that we don’t have to.

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Watching on TV is cheaper than actually attending a game. And safer:

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On occasion we see someone who really knows how to run. Note the policeman, playing out his ultimate football fantasy. This guy definitely played in high-school, because his tackling technique is excellent:

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Rioting when our team loses:

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This is a socially acceptable way to release the buried anger we feel toward our demeaning boss. Busting stuff lets us reassure ourselves that we have control in our lives. Oops, I’m starting to sound like Freud. Moving on to the most important reason we watch:

The post-victory party always rocks:

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(Images from Google Images)

 

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