“The signs are unmistakable,” said Dr. Stan Cumulus, Director of the Bureau. “Temperatures will fall so low that only very short meteorologists will be able to read them.”
Weather watchers at the Bureau note that squirrels are burying canned goods and pop tarts, a sure sign that arctic conditions will descend on the US over the next few months.
A recent incident in New Jersey offers further proof that animals are preparing for a testing winter. Three black bears entered a shopping mall in Hamilton. Terrified shoppers looked on in horror as the bears entered Macy’s department store, grabbed three racks of fur overcoats, and made off with the items.
Other signs include:
- Early arrival of the Snowplow beetle
- Lines of fire ants carrying charcoal
- Birds wearing fuzzy caterpillars
- The moon moving closer to the sun