The private equity fund Global Grabbit Investments has signed a deal with the Chinese government to convert The Great Wall of China into 5,500 miles of high-end shops and restaurants. Adjacent provinces are to be blacktopped to provide adequate parking space for stretched limos and private aircraft.
The Great Mall of China will serve China’s growing number of millionaires and billionaires, as well America’s top earners who have become fabulously wealthy over the last decade or so.
“These consumers want a new retail experience. Nothing out there right comes close to catering for their desires,” said Orwell J. Opportune, CEO of Global Grabbit.
The equity fund is in negotiations to transform other wonders of the world into retail outlets for the wealthy. There are plans to turn the Grand Canyon into a mega-mall themed around natural beauty, and one of the Egyptian pyramids has been earmarked for conversion into shops and car parks.
“These unique sites have fantastic name recognition,” said Opportune.
The Great Mall of China will offer the largest selection of merchandise in the world, “and we’ll serve Chinese food that’s to die for,” said Opportune.