The New World of Wrestling: Catfighting | HumorOutcasts

The New World of Wrestling: Catfighting

August 19, 2013
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Often I wonder…well, not often… maybe once…honestly, it was about 30 minutes ago…how can we “class up” wrestling?  I know what you’re thinking:  Why fool with perfection?  But sometimes you just have to take that risk if there is a glimmer of improvement in the future. So, allow me to introduce you the t newest and classiest form of professional wrestling–Catfighting.

Yep, it is what you would imagine it to be – only with more sex appeal ( and this applies only if you are a man with issues or a kinky lesbian).   This is how it goes.  There are two professional all-women leagues. One is in Nottingham, England and one in Lansing, Michigan.  Before you ask, I don’t understand the geographical locations and how the leagues ended up in these places. I guess both cities have a wrestling visionary who understands the need and value of professional catfighting.

Anyway, the leagues resemble wrestling except that the rules allow more nail clawing, face slapping and of course, hair pulling because nothing spells catfight like these activities. Again, I don’t comprehend it, but for those who say this is violence for violence sake only, let me be the first to correct you.  Professional catfighting is above all, according to the catfighting powers that be, performance art. Yesiree, that is their sales pitch.

The match is not just about the fighting.  The scene is set, the opponents wear burlesque-style costumes and their “dance” is choreographed. For example, one woman can be dressed up as a bumble bee while her opponent wears a pretty flower hat. Do you see where this is going? The bee tries to get that flower, but the flower hat is not going down easily, and the face slapping begins. The owners of the leagues say the actual fighting is quite gentle unless one of the opponents gets a little rough. Then, the gloves come off and the real catfighting begins.

I would like to say that professional catfighting is unique, but it’s not. It’s another version of the lingerie football league where women wear sexy underwear and play tackle football. Of course for safety, the women wear helmets and shoulder pads. I am not impressed by their mandatory equipment when the guy’s version of the game include  pants, padding, shirts and that all-important cup.  If the lingerie football leagues want to truly protect these women, they should provide thongs that do not ride up on the field. I would think a thong gone awry in tackle football would be a horrible injury to suffer.

Will professional catfighting take off?  Yes, probably. I didn’t believe lingerie football would last, and yet more teams form each season.  So,why not catfighting?  I  would like to say that I support these women, but they are giving all women a bad name.  We struggle to form friendships and bonds where we support each other instead of tear each other down, which in history has proved to be the more popular route for women to take, and just when we have those  “bonding” rules in place, professional catfighting comes on the scene and replays the old stereotype of women slashing at each other to get ahead.

We can’t stop them; these women can catfight in costumes or play football in garters. I will neither be a fan nor an understanding female friend because if these novelty sports continue to take off, I think women in other professional sports might be forced to make wardrobe changes to keep an interested audience. It boggles my mind that all this is allowed in the name of sports; yet, as of this year, women can’t carry their purse into an NFL game because it might pose a danger. Really?

 

Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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4 Responses to The New World of Wrestling: Catfighting

  1. August 22, 2013 at 3:00 am

    I find catfighting appalling. That said, do they sell season tickets?

  2. Bill Y Ledden
    August 20, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    1. How come nobody told me there was a lingerie football league?

    2. Tell me about the lingerie football league.

  3. August 19, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    Solid ideas here. Makes me realize that if I’d filmed my sisters fighting over the bathroom when I was kid, I’d now be rich.

  4. August 19, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    Well, men and sometimes women really beating the hell out of each other (cage fighting, boxing, etc.) is considered entertainment so I’m not sure how dignified that is either.



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