Fancy Death

Hearse_of_Japan_02Death and taxes are the only sure things in life. It’s tough to make taxes enjoyable unless you’re one of those creepy accountants who lives for the next audit.

But death can be a blast. Think themed funeral.

More people want to put some fun into their last rites. There are funerals with popular themes such as Star Wars and League of Super Heroes. Bikers have riders at their funerals and are buried sitting on their favorite machines. A geek might have Stephen Hawking lookalikes as pallbearers. If oriental is your thing, how about a hearse with pagodas?

The possibilities are endless, but before you start making plans there are a few things you need to consider.

  1. Who will be invited?

Sure, your nearest and dearest want to pay their last respects, but not everyone will be thrilled by a themed gig. Will Aunt Betty, whose idea of fun is doing three funerals a week, like walking into your Christmas-themed affair complete with Santa pallbearers and a gift-wrapped casket tucked under the tree? The mistletoe will freak her out.

  1. What music will be played?

No doubt you have a favorite tune or two that you’d like played during your send off. But a party is a party, and you’ll have to do better than a couple of standard Beatles songs. There’s plenty of choice, but think twice about some tunes. Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die” and Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” might be worth avoiding, for instance.

  1. Who will officiate?

Will your rabbi really wear a Yoda costume at the funeral?

  1. Think about the long term

Don’t leave your family with a bad taste after you’ve gone. For example, they’re sure to resent the mortgage payments on that replica Egyptian pyramid you had built for your Pharaoh-styled event. Not to mention the embalmer’s bill, and the payments on the limo you were buried with to transport you around the underworld.

  1. Will there be booze?

A party isn’t a party without booze, right? Wrong. Graveyards and liquor don’t mix. Imagine a slammed Uncle Mervyn lying on top of your casket begging to be let in, or the cousins making out on someone’s crypt.

Whatever you decide, don’t get all morose because you won’t be sharing the fun. Why not do a few test runs while you’re still kicking? Besides, you’ll have the last laugh – you won’t have to do the cleaning up.

Photo: Wikimedia, Corpse Reviver

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4 thoughts on “Fancy Death”

  1. I say to hell with it. If I can’t have fun at my own party, I just won’t give one!

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