Help! I’m Being Chased by Words! | HumorOutcasts

Help! I’m Being Chased by Words!

July 26, 2014

Ask KathyWriters are weird. I didn’t know just how weird until I became one.

From being an opera singer for several decades, I already had a head start on being weird. That was a big help when I decided to take up yet another art form that will never make me rich. Being bat shit crazy came naturally to me. I knew how Franz Kafka must have felt, living an outwardly bourgeois life while having Metamorphosis knocking around in his brain. You have to get that stuff out before it ignites and shoots your head like a rocket into the ozone layer.

For example, look at how I talk now. I have tons of words flying around in my head, just waiting to be released. I always want to use just the right words, too, which means that, even with huge numbers of English words and occasional ones in Italian, German or French hitting my brain’s language center, half the time I can’t find the one I want, the one that will perfectly express whatever I’m trying to say.

No, I don’t have Alzheimer’s. I just have too many words up there crowding other words out.

I’m also finding it harder and harder to say something in a simple way. A couple of days ago, I described to someone how I hurt the big toe on my left foot.

WHAT A NORMAL PERSON WOULD HAVE SAID: I stubbed my toe on a bookcase.

WHAT I SAID: My toe had a fight with a piece of furniture and the furniture won.

Talking like that will either get you a laugh or a straightjacket.

I don’t think there is any cure for this peculiar malady, other than sitting at a computer and writing as much as possible.

Kathy Minicozzi

Kathy Minicozzi is an opera singer turned aspiring writer, who lives somewhere in New York City. In other words, she's weird, but harmless. She is the author of "Opera for People Who Don't Like It," in which she turns the world of opera and its performers upside down while, at the same time, making it understandable to non-opera lovers and making everyone laugh.

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6 Responses to Help! I’m Being Chased by Words!

  1. July 28, 2014 at 8:49 am

    Yup, distilling thoughts and words to a precious few seems to get harder as the years pass. At least we have many more publishing opportunities such as this one! 🙂

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      July 29, 2014 at 8:12 pm

      Hallelujah! Donna Cavanaugh rocks!

  2. July 28, 2014 at 4:27 am

    Writing as much as possible? Yeah, I’m willing to try that.

    • Kathy Minicozzi
      July 29, 2014 at 8:11 pm

      If only we had the time!

  3. Kathy Minicozzi
    July 27, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    Hehe! Whatever works, right?

  4. Bill Y Ledden
    July 27, 2014 at 4:15 am

    According to the word on the street, David Bowie wrote some lyrics by throwing random words in the air and assembling them in the order that they fell. What a legend!

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