Is This Thing On?

Comics, I mean their holinesses, cracking jokes and shaking up the world, one religion at a time.

Forget late-night, joke writers everywhere were wondering where to send material to get this kind of stage. Recently the Pope was quoted as saying, “When we read about Creation in Genesis, we run the risk of imagining God as a magician with a magic wand able to do everything… God is not a divine being or a magician.”

So there. The Sisters of my youth will have to rethink that vengeful magic wand full of punishment.

And also, according to his Holiness, Frank, apparently The Big Bang theory does not contradict the divine now. A collective gasp was heard around the globe until someone asked, “So were Sheldon and the gang there?”

Not to be outdone, while visiting Princeton University the day after the Pope’s revelation, the Dalai Lama was asked the age old question, What is the key to happiness?

His answer was, “Money.” When the crowd appeared startled, he added, “Or sex.”

As laughter filled the Ivy League gymnasium, no one was laughing harder than the Dalai Lama himself.

Such a joker. He was just kidding.

His holiness then delved into his talk, “Develop the Heart.” …“Develop inner strength… driven by compassion,” was his real reply to the secret of happiness query.

And at the same time, lava flow from Hawaii’s Kilauea Volcano was creeping closer to the village of Pahoa, the leading edge just feet from the nearest home and main road causing many to wonder, me included, if there was anything anyone could do to divert the flow. It seems in this day and age we could, or should, do something.

In fact, it can be done. It has been done. Engineers and teams of bulldozers were once used in Catania on the island of Sicily. If available, huge quantities of seawater can also be poured onto the flow to cool it down. That worked once in 1973 in Iceland.

Last I checked the ocean is in close proximity and could be employed. Except to the Hawaiian people there are deeply held religious significances tied to the volcano and there is great respect for the holy hot discharge. “She” (they refer to the volcano as she because they are referring to Pele, the volcano goddess) deserves respect…

…or a sacrifice.

Joe? Joe? Can you hear us?

In an NPR report, one resident was quoted as saying, “You cannot change the direction. It’s Mother Nature.” And, John Lockwood, a volcanologist who lives near Pahoa, said, “Whatever the efforts of humans are, they’ll be pretty puny compared the long-term plans of the volcano.”

The Pope. The Dali Lama. The Volcano Goddess.

And, Mother Nature.

Pay no attention to the men behind the curtain(s).

The volcano has her own long-term plans.

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