Several bloggers have asked me recently why I don’t post daily on my blog site. Professional bloggers recommend it in order to increase traffic and followers. I know this is sound advice, but I am ashamed to admit that I am often stumped by writer’s block. And that’s when I turn into a professional procrastinator.
This is how it starts:
5:45 a.m.
Obnoxious alarm clock jars me awake. I want to yank it from the wall and toss it out the window onto the neighbor’s lawn. It wouldn’t matter because they get up at the ass crack of dawn to rev up their lawn mowers.
On my night stand sits the TO-DO list I scribbled out last night when there was still adrenaline coursing through my veins after watching a rousing episode of Top Chef. In the bleak morning light, that TO-DO list becomes a GO-TO-HELL list. No way am I getting up early to make everyone breakfast. That’s why God invented granola bars and oatmeal-on-the-go.
Slap the snooze button on the alarm for fifteen more minutes.
6:00 a.m.
Just as I have drifted off into Never Never Land, I hear a nagging buzzer go off, and wonder if I’m on a new game show called, “Wheel Of Misfortune.”
I REALLY need to wake up.
6:15 a.m.
Coffee. My morning elixir. Jumper cables to my heart. Now I’m ready to work.
6:30 a.m.
Realization that just because my body is doing the happy dance doesn’t mean that my brain has caught onto the dance steps. Need more coffee.
7:00 a.m.
Staring at a blank computer screen, convinced that my muse bought a one-way ticket to Bora Bora and is completely content to sip Mai Tais on the shore while I struggle to post something witty on my blog site.
7:30 a.m.
Still staring at blank computer screen. Pick dog hair off tee-shirt and make a daisy chain out of paper clips. I end up trolling Facebook for status updates.
“Wow Camille, you sure look wasted in those office party pictures. Do people still do that kind of stuff on copy machines???”
“Aw, Cynthia, I just LOVE little Tommy’s mullet. Is he channeling Billy Ray Cyrus?”
“OMG Vicky! Your poodle just pooped in your Jimmy Choos?!”
9:30 a.m.
Staring out home office window. When did the neighbors get a hairless cat? Oh, that’s a possum rummaging around in the trash can. I didn’t know possums liked beer. Start thinking about possum merino and wonder what it is, then look it up on the internet.
10:00 a.m.
Glance at Facebook again to see if anyone commented on my latest status update: “Is it too early to add whiskey to my coffee cup? LOL!”
10:30 a.m.
Check fridge to see if anyone left an amazing surprise in there for me to eat, like an ice cream bar or a leftover egg roll.
11:00 a.m.
Back on the computer and begin typing blog entry: “Hello Readers! I’m hyped up on caffeine and shaky as hell but my brain has a log jam and I…..oh look! A cupcake!
11:30 a.m.
Gotta get this blog post going…whoa, what’s this? New outdoor decorating ideas on Pinterest? Pot-bellied pigs for sale on Craig’s List?
1:00 p.m.
Stalk other blog sites for inspiration. They’re all good. Damn good. This leaves me feeling a bit insecure and overwhelmed…so I pick up the phone and call a friend for moral support.
2:30 p.m.
Damn possum is back. Brought some of his buddies. I didn’t know they could carry a six pack and beach chairs.
4:30 p.m.
Wake up to computer keyboard imprints on my forehead.
5:00 p.m.
Feed and walk dogs, try to figure out something clever yet appetizing for dinner. My family is starting to catch onto the fact that I’m recycling leftovers tossed into pasta and rice to confuse them.
8:00 p.m.
Back on the computer. Something skitters across the floor and under my desk. Could have been a cockroach. Or a possum. Call Husband to exterminate whatever predator is stalking me.
10:00 p.m.
Loud cheering from the TV room. My family is either watching a Dolphins football game or The Kardashians. I need to investigate.
Midnight:
Computer screen still blank. So is my brain. Time to reboot both. Possums now sitting around campfire singing Kumbaya and making smores.
Surely tomorrow will be a more productive day…as long as a parade of pugnacious pot-bellied pigs and prancing pink poodles doesn’t pass by my office window…
Hi Marcia! I think I am sinking into a little writing funk, so I was happy to see this link on your blog today. I’m not the only one! Yay! But of course you solved your issue by blogging about it…brilliant as usual 🙂
The sun actually poked it’s head out of the clouds today, so maybe a little light will help.
Have a great, quote-filled weekend my friend!
Ceil
Possums. I’m now riffing on possums. In my head.
😉 you crack me up!
Thank you, Carol! Yes, possums are weird creatures. We get tons of them in our yard and I swear they’re partying it up out there when we sleep, because the next day when I wake, there is stuff all over the yard!
LOL! I just finished a four-week online class in Blogging, and that’s one of the things the instructor emphasized with me — I need to post more often, preferably every day!
Hehe! I get so few “hits” on my blog right now that I wonder if it would be worth the extra effort. But I don’t want to disappoint that handful of admirers. 😉
If you enjoy writing, then you should definitely go for it. I struggle with new ideas, so I’ve just made Friday the post day— I like working on a self-imposed deadline.
At least you have the possums to keep you company, Marica! When I stare out the window I watch the horses next door and count the twigs stuck in their manes.
OMG dying laughing over here! I’ll start looking for twigs stuck to the possums’ fur!
Writing a blog post each day would not be fun for me and I want to enjoy writing my blog. Working full time makes it hard to commit, but I am trying for twice a week and it’s still a challenge.
Reading your thoughts is so very enjoyable. Thanks for the chuckles, I appreciate your sense of humor.
Barbara @ http://www.allmylivesnow.com
Thank you so much, Barbara! I can barely crank out a post once a week—not sure how some of these bloggers do it daily. I guess I just don’t lead a very exciting life……
I simply cannot imagine you having writer’s block. I think you are lying. 🙂
You are everywhere!! You can’t NOT have writer’s block- or all these amazing posts would not exist!!
Carry on…
And this, Chris Carter, is why I love you so much! XO
You’re a genius! When suffering from writers’ block write about how writers’ block feels. Brilliant!
Not sure I could ever produce a blog post per day. It takes all my efforts to produce one each fortnight!
Bu that you write is always SO GOOD, Gary!
Very, very good description of days that all of us writers go through. One way I avoid it is that I only write one post a week. I know that the “blogging advice” says that more is good but that would take the fun out of it for me and I would spend far too many days like you describe above. Thanks for reminding me why I do what I do!
Thank you and you’re welcome! Once a week is enough for me. I feature a guest every Wednesday, and that has helped pick up additional traffic to the site!
Excellent writing and creativity.
Thank you so much for all of your support, Daniel!
Just think of all the daytime soaps and reality shows you missed! That’s a good thing! 🙂
LOL Mike! I used to watch soap operas years ago—it got seriously addicting, but when I started yelling at the actresses on TV, I knew it was time to quit and unplug the TV.
Bwahahaha! That’s the most creative writer’s block I’ve ever heard! Trust you to make the impossible . . . read-able! 🙂
I couldn’t think of anything else….so why not? Hahahaha!
Our brains are mysterious things – I go through periods where I can write all day and other periods where I can’t write a check. I’ve found most of the time I need to be out of the house to have something inspire me to write. It usually just happens, not when I’m looking for ideas.
You are so correct! I think some of my best posts come from the mundane in life that hit my funny bone for no particular reason. I carry pen and paper with me wherever I go for this reason!
Oh. My. God. I do this more often than I like to admit, and sadly, I get a secret pleasure (reassurance?) that I’m not the only one. Hilarious and true….so glad I’m not the only one!
You’re in good company! And you’re welcome to come over and watch the possums with me any time you want!