Does the Pope Sh#t in the Woods?


I love this f@#%in’ Pope! He’s so real. For a representative of the deity, he is so human. He’s taken down the frosty façade of Catholicism to mingle with the common folk. He’s lived a simple and modest lifestyle, and done more to change the face of Catholicism than any other Pope in recent times. Oh hell, ever.

But shit! Do you know what the f@#%in’ Pope did? He dropped the F bomb!

Oh yes, he did. He was all up on his balcony giving a speech or a sermon or a mass, or whatever it is he does…because I’m a recovering Catholic and really, I’ve blocked all of that out, except I can still recite that really long thing we used to do in church. I can recite that thing by rote with my eyes closed while standing on one foot and touching my nose with both index fingers, while drunk. Oh yes I can. Just give me the first few words and I’m off and running. I can do it in the customary church monotone and I can do it fast, real fast, like that guy from the car commercials who tells you really quickly about the MSRP and shit.

Yes, the Pope dropped the F bomb. In front of a crowd. Sure it was an accident, but I think it still counts as far as boosting the Pope’s street cred is concerned. He intended to use the Italian word for ‘example’, which is “caso”. Instead, he said “cazzo”, or F@#k, which in Italian, also refers to the male genitalia.

Holy Shit!

It came at a moment when he was urging the world to strive for a peaceful solution to the situation in Ukraine. Well, f#$%, I totally get that. Pope Francis, I don’t think you pissed anybody off, I mean dammit, that’s real. And of course it was just a gaffe.

A phallic gaffe.

But you know, it immediately got around like John Travolta on an Adele Dazeem bender. As far as I know, there still isn’t a Twitter account, so would somebody please get on that?

Now don’t get pissed off at me. I’m just the messenger. Don’t start calling me an ass-Pope-hat. But between you and me, and the Holy ghost, this Pope is totally a bad ass Mother F@#%&er! And that’s a compliment as far as I’m concerned.

Besides…to err is human, to forgive, divine.

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10 thoughts on “Does the Pope Sh#t in the Woods?”

  1. Hey as long as he doesn’t use the Lord’s name in vain he is golden right? I believe in one God, father Almighty, make of heaven and earth…yup still got it memorized too.

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