I’m not a religious person. But I do religiously check the stove to make sure it’s turned off. The door knob has to be wiggled and pulled a few times while my exasperated family sits in the car and waits. Of course I go back and check it again; what, do you think I’m crazy?
This is the Gospel According to OCD, children. A mild case, but enough to drive my family to un-Godlike thoughts when it comes to putting up with me. They abide by an unspoken and thus far undocumented code of conduct. Let’s call it my list of commandments. The people I live with just sort of know that I will die a little inside every time they rumple the rug while they’re wrestling.
It’s not easy. And I didn’t ask for this calling, But the cross I bear is mine, however mild my case may be. The least I can do while I’m not busy washing my hands or straightening the bath towels, is help out a fellow brethren. After all, somebody needs to spread the word and take up the cause so that the afflicted will no longer be faced with the horror of asymmetry.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of repetitiveness, I fear no contamination. Amen. Amen. Amen…Amen. (Even number)
These 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…1, 2, 3, 4, 5…1, 2, 3, 4, 5…6, 7, 8, 9…10 Commandments of OCD have been brought straight to you from Moses, who didn’t even have the good sense to wipe the doo-doo-rotomy off his sandals before he came in the front door.
1. Thou shalt not leave “things” lying about upon surfaces or coats and shoes on the floor. *shudder*
2. Thou shalt not leave tags on bath towels in full view.
3. Honor they tri-folded towel.
4. Keep holy the straightened cupboards and thusly, thy faced labels, lined up symmetrically, especially if left in full view.
5. Thou shalt not have crooked picture frames.
6. Thou shalt have no false starts before me; you shall dutifully go ahead so that I may check the door several times to make sure it’s properly closed, closed, closed and locked, locked, locked on Friday, July 11, in the year of Our Lord 2014. Closed. Locked. Closed. Locked. Closed….Locked…(closed. locked.)
7. Keep checking thy appliances. If ye must go back in the house to check, then so be it.
8. Thou shalt keep things straight. In a line. Perfectly.
9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s germs.
10. Thou shalt wash my feet. Then wash them again. Then wash them again.
…Then wash them again.
And please, for the love of God, wear gloves.