4-year-old: What happens if I throw up in the red shoe bin by the door? Me: Why is your question alarmingly specific? 4: No reason.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 27, 2014
4-year-old: Give me cookies or else. Me: Or else what? 4: I’ll light you on fire with my mind. Me: 4: Me: *gives her cookies*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 26, 2014
Me: Are you eating dirt? 2-year-old: No. I’m licking it. Well that’s a relief.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 26, 2014
Me: No. 4-year-old: But it’s what I want! Me: I can’t grill spaghetti. 4: Because you’re a bad cook?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 26, 2014
4-year-old: Can we get a pet monkey? Me: Why do you think I had you?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 26, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyrqMm1 2/26/14: pic.twitter.com/YP5teFbzUL
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) August 19, 2014