4-year-old: Grown-ups can do what they want Me: Yup 4: Why don’t you eat pizza for every meal? Me: 4: Me:*takes a hard look at my life*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 2, 2014
4-year-old: Why isn’t it OK to touch people? Me: They want their personal space. 4: Me: 4: If I was in space, I’d touch everybody.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 1, 2014
Me: Good morning. 2-year-old: Don’t talk to me! She’s awful before she’s had her coffee.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 1, 2014
4-year-old: What does lightning taste like? Me: I don’t know the answer, but I put covers over our electric outlets just in case.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 1, 2014
In case you wondered what married life is like, my wife & I got in a fight over what to put on a taco. Love is no match for shredded cheese
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 1, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyr8D7T 3/3/14: pic.twitter.com/1zmvABvyXP
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) August 24, 2014