Weiner Schnitzel and the National Brick Variety Research Center | HumorOutcasts

Weiner Schnitzel and the National Brick Variety Research Center

October 1, 2014
By

Austrian Entree

WIENER SCHNITZEL

INGREDIENTSWienerSchnitzel-

4 6-ounce veal cutlets
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1¾ cups flour
12 ounces lard or butter
1⅓ cups breadcrumbs
1 lemon

SPECIAL UTENSIL

kitchen mallet
3 mixing bowls

PREPARATION

Chill veal cutlets in ice water. This keeps the cutlets’ juice inside when immersed in the hot lard. Use kitchen mallet to pound veal cutlets until they are ¼” thick. Put cutlets, pepper, and salt on platel. Turn veal in bowl until well coated with pepper and salt. Add eggs to first mixing bowl. Beat eggs with whisk. Add flour to second mixing bowl. Add breadcrumbs to third mixing bowl.

Dip veal cutlet into bowl with flour. Coat cutlet with flour. Dip cutlet in bowl with eggs. Coat cutlet with eggs. Dip cutlet in bowl with breadcrumbs. Dredge cutlet through bowl of bread crumbs. Repeat for each veal cutlet.

Add ¼th of the lard, 3 ounces, at a time to pan. Melt lard using medium heat. Add coated veal cutlet, Wiener schniztel, to pan. Sauté each side using medium heat for 2-to-4 minutes or until golden brown. Remove schnitzel to plate. Gently press both sides of schnitzel with paper towel. Repeat for each coated veal cutlet. Cut lemon into 4 slices. Top each schnitzel with lemon slice.

TIDBITS

1) Belgium produces more types of bricks than any other nation. Austria doesn’t make nearly as many bricks. This might be because a legendary Austrian bricklayer murdered his seven wives.

2) The Weiner schnitzel is not a brick, it is a tasty entree and by Austrian law, Weiner schnitzels must be made with veal (Notice the neat segue?)

3) In 1987, Austria, in an attempt to catch Belgium, established the National Brick Variety Research Center. It has not done well; attracting Austria’s best minds away from culinary enforcement has been difficult.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Paul De Lancey

Paul De Lancey writes in multiple genres: adventure, westerns, morality, time travel, thriller, and culinary, all spiced with zaniness. He is a frequent contributor to HumorOutcasts. His novels "Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms?" "Beneficial Murders," "We’re French and You’re Not," and "The Fur West" and his cookbook Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World have won acclaim from award-winning authors. Paul is also the writer of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics. Dr. De Lancey obtained his Doctorate in Economics from the University of Wisconsin. His thesis, “Official Reserve Management and Forecasts of Official Reserves,” disappears from bookstore shelves so quickly that most would-be purchasers can never find it in stock. Paul, known to his friends as Paul, was the proud co-host of the online literary events Bump Off Your Enemies, The Darwin Murders, and Tasteful Murders. He also co-collected, co-edited, and co-published the e-book anthologies resulting from these events. Perhaps Mr. De Lancey will someday become a literary giant without having to die for the title. The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Paul ran for President of the United States in 2012! Woo hoo! On the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Estimates of Bacon & Chocolate’s share of the votes range from 3 to 1.5% of the total. El Candidato also lost a contentious campaign to be El Presidente of Venezuela. In late 2013, Chef Paul participated in the International Bento Competition. The great statesman is again running for president, this time under HumorOutcasts’ sponsorship. Contact Paul before he gets elected to get that ambassadorship to Tahiti you’ve always wanted. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep. His books are available at: www.lordsoffun.com and amazon.com.

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2 Responses to Weiner Schnitzel and the National Brick Variety Research Center

  1. October 2, 2014 at 11:18 am

    I’d be a brick short in favor of this national focus. This inspired my morning and will influence my trip to the store! DELISH post!

    • October 3, 2014 at 11:59 am

      Gosh, thanks, this restaurant and brick factory aims to please.



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