What emails and my waistline have in common | HumorOutcasts

What emails and my waistline have in common

January 13, 2014
photo credit: Micky** via photopin cc

photo credit: Micky** via photopin cc

Getting my emails to a manageable number is much like getting my weight to a manageable number.


Both are great in theory, and neither are made better with a one-pound bag of Skittles.


The Skittles help though.  They really do.

Lisa Newlin

Lisa is a humor writer who plays an unconvincing lawyer in year life. She prefers dogs to most people, and food over most everything. Her blog, http://lisanewlin.com will make you feel better about your own life. It will also remind you that vodka is the answer to everything. (Except if the question is "What should I throw on this fire?" Then the answer is definitely NOT vodka.) She is also a co-author of the bestselling humor books, "I Just Want to Be Alone" and "'You've Got Lipstick On Your Teeth,' And Other Things Only Heard From Your Friends In The Powder Room." You should buy them immediately on Amazon.com.

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7 Responses to What emails and my waistline have in common

  1. January 14, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    I don’t know why skittles can’t come up with a high-protein;good for you version. How difficult can that be?

  2. Kathy Minicozzi
    January 14, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    I have an ever-expanding waistline, but I’m very good about deleting emails that I don’t have to keep.

    I don’t like Skittles very much, but I can eat M&Ms by the bowlful, which probably explains why I seem to be half in and half out of this number management thing.

  3. January 14, 2014 at 7:41 am

    M&M’s for me, but otherwise I’m with you.

    • January 14, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      I think I overdosed on M&Ms a few years ago. It wasn’t a pretty time, although my vomit was rainbow colored, so I guess that’s the silver lining in all of that. (And red, and blue, and green….)

      • January 15, 2014 at 1:57 am

        I’ve never gone that far … yet!

  4. January 14, 2014 at 7:36 am

    Hi Lisa,
    Boy, you’re preaching to the choir here. I have problems with both of those. My email is so full, it’s always just about to start bouncing new emails. My waistline is so full it’s already bouncing all over the place.
    Some foreigner at a toga party once said, “Nosce te Ipsum,” know thyself. He also said, “Nosce te skittlium,” know thy skittles.

    So you see…um…there it is…

    I rest my case.

    • January 14, 2014 at 5:34 pm

      I’m thinking of getting “Nosce te skittlium” tattoed on my body. It’s a very inspirational quote and a way to ensure I will always have Skittles with me…even if it’s just on my forearm.

      And don’t worry if your email is so full it starts bouncing new ones. That’s just a great way to ensure you don’t get any new emails! It’s the perfect set up!

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