A First Amendment Warrior Emerges


Donald Trump recently filed a lawsuit against Univision, the Spanish-language TV network. The network has chosen to cancel its contract to host the Miss USA Pageant due to offensive remarks Trump made about Mexicans during a speech announcing his bid for President. Trump, who ardently supports the rights of businesses to make decisions free from outside interference, is claiming that Univision is infringing upon his First Amendment rights.

In a creative move rarely seen in the corporate world, Univision issued a supporting press release written in the form of a beauty pageant speech:

“We personally believe that U.S. Americans like Mr Trump are, uhmmm, unable to understand Mexico because, uhmmm, some people out there in our nation doesn’t have maps. But uh, we believe that this and that also is no excuse for someone to imbibe in a demonstration of hateful ideas like those from Apartheid-era North Africa. Like everywhere, Univision believes that in dropping Mr Trump we all, uh, embrace inclusiveness to build up our own future, for us.”

Trump faces an uphill battle in his suit. But he isn’t alone. His legal team of T & A Associates has garnered support from The Society For The Preservation Of Wearing High Heels And Bikinis Together, the Brazilian Hot Body Waxing Association, The Association Of Teeth-Whitener Strip Manufacturers, and Fako™ (an online vendor selling bronzer creams banned by the EPA).

If unsuccessful in his suit, Trump is expected to convert the pageant to an audio-only show and air it on the obscure AM radio stations that Rush Limbaugh currently calls home.

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