According to the experts, hearing generally is the last of our senses to go at the end of life. But for us midlifers, it’s frequently one of the first to wane.
This age-related hearing loss is called presbycusis (toss that word out at your next cocktail party). As we age, structures inside our ears start to change and their ability to function declines (all those loud rock-and-roll concerts and cranked-up stereo speakers didn’t help us baby boomers, either). As a result, we start having trouble hearing high-frequency sounds, understanding someone when there’s background noise, or telling apart certain sounds.
We know what happens next. The television volume gets cranked up. We start watching people’s lips when they talk. You rely on a spouse or companion to “translate” what others are saying. And conversations can be both frustrating and hilarious. For example:
An online acquaintance recently wrote about how she heard “phone” when her husband said he’d misplaced his (mustache) comb, and she offered to call it so the ringtone would help him track it down.
One evening a few months ago, my husband and I were watching a Netflix movie when I announced that I had to go to the bathroom – a cue for him to pause what we were watching (since he, of course, controls the remote). His reaction was, “Why do you have to do that now?” I rather snippily replied, “Because my bladder’s full, that’s why.” Then he got it. Turns out, he thought I’d said “I have to go vacuum” and was baffled as to why I felt the need to do so in the middle of a movie.
But maybe the best misunderstanding we’ve had from mishearing happened in the boudoir. Upon awakening one weekday morning before my husband retired, I suggested a fast amorous encounter before he had to get out of bed and off to work. He misheard me and, fastidious Felix Unger-like, had a most interesting response –which inspired this haiku:
I offered “quickie;”
He heard “cookie” and asked me
“Why get crumbs in bed?”
Which just goes to show you, fellow boomers – hearing loss can affect your sex life. So listen up!
So what’s the most memorable misunderstanding you’ve had from mishearing? Please share…
Hi Roxanne! I’m afraid my hearing loss was never that funny but at least it never effected our sex life. The statistics for hearing loss are really very revealing but what I learned and wrote about on my own blog post was what hearing loss does to your brain. Scary stuff so that’s why I went and bought mine. I love them too. Lots of good benefits…here’s more for anyone who is interested… http://smartliving365.com/do-my-hearing-aids-make-me-look-fat/
I make light of the topic in my post, but I do realize the seriousness of hearing loss (I actually wrote a fairly lengthy article about it for Palm Springs Life a few years back!). One of the key points I recall is that — because of the effect on the brain — getting hearing aids to restore hearing isn’t as simple as putting on a pair of glasses to restore vision, which is why it can take a while to get accustomed to hearing aids. Glad you’ve had success by getting them early on.
Another fun haiku, Bill! Guess those crumbles were what Hubs was concerned about…
I might prefer a cookie over nookie…but either way, I’m, gettin’ something.
Excellent point, Cathy!
So funny. My husband tells me all the time that I don’t hear him. I characterize it as “preoccupied.” But in the morning the TV volume is cranked way up. Maybe I should start “listening” more.
You never know what you might hear…
Your sex life crummy?
Sometimes, I heard, that’s the way
the cookie crumbles.