The Role Of Small Dogs In Boomtowns

I’ve never lived in a place that’s booming. I grew up in Hartford, Connecticut, which hasn’t grown much ever since the Hartford Whalers hockey team moved (pro-sports teams are absolutely essential to economic growth). Later I lived in Portland, Oregon, where companies rarely relocate or expand because they don’t want to hire hipsters who don’t shower (and there’s only one pro team). But my current residence (Seattle) is a new and different beast altogether. It’s booming with the influx of tech jobs because we have two pro teams.

And with that comes money. Here’s how you know the big money has arrived. You’re driving down a two-lane road in a congested urban area chock full of cars, buses, bicyclists, and pedestrians. And suddenly a sports car roars past you on the wrong side of the road. It’s a low-slung, convertible Tesla. Obviously, the guy has somewhere super-cool to be. But he doesn’t make much headway because he hits the red light one block up ahead. So you pull up on his right and glance over. He’s a serious-looking dude in his late twenties with a five-o’clock shadow (probably implants) and mirrored shades like Tom Cruise wore in Top Gun. Looking at the guy you picture someone who probably didn’t connect with the chicks in high school. Maybe they laughed at him. But things are definitely changing because he’s got the sweet job and is making bank, right? Nope, the women (currently in their twenties) are now laughing at his car, just like you are.

When the light finally turns green, the guy rockets left. But halfway through the intersection he has to slam on the brakes because a young guy is walking through the crosswalk. And he’s moving slow because he’s shepherding along the world’s smallest poodle, which is dressed in an adorable plaid outfit.

So maybe that’s the trade-off of blistering growth – the cars get faster and stupider, but the dogs get way smaller and cuter. And those little guys do their best to get us to slow down and relax.