There is a growing problem in this country. It’s the bombardment of messages we receive virtually nonstop every single day, thanks to the increasing omnipresence of email, text messaging and social media in our lives.
Today I want to tell you how you can break free from the distraction of – hey look! An email from Ace Hardware. They’re offering 15% off hammers today only. How’d they know I needed a new hammer? Where was I? Oh yes, I was talking about the importance of staying in the moment and not letting outside email distractions cause us to get – Wow! My team is up by 10 at the half. Thanks for the text, Sis. Go, Buckeyes!
My point is, we need to take back control of our lives and not let our laptops and smart phones dictate how we spend our time. There is nothing more important in life than – Adele’s latest tweet announcing, “I’m back with a brand new single. Watch the video now: http://trib.al/utC***z”. Wow, that was awesome. She sure has a set of pipes….
As I was saying, too often we bounce from one distraction to the next when what we really should be doing is using our time to appreciate – this important email I just got from Donald Trump claiming that Ted Cruz is an idiot….
Time is the most precious resource we have – more precious than – the cutest baby pictures I’ve ever seen, posted just now by my friend Cora of her toddler son Angelo dressed up like a ladybug for Halloween. All I can say is Awww!
When you’re out with friends, ask yourself, are you really present with them, focused on what – the heck is going on in this hilarious video my buddy Norm just posted on Facebook of an Orangutan that plays “Born to be Wild” on the tuba? What’s more important in life than being with the people we really care about and choosing – this Living Social link that reveals how the new Flexitarian Abs Diet for Women will increase my bust line by up to two inches? I will have to look into that…. But back to my point.
We all lead hectic lives. So it’s important that we not fritter our limited time on this planet polluting our minds with useless clutter. Instead why not expand your mind with valuable nuggets of wisdom like – this link someone posted on Reddit titled “20 celebrities who have aged badly”. I must say, John Travolta does not look good….
Which leads me to my point. How are you spending your time each day? Are you trying to improve yourself and the lives of others? Because, if you ask me, nothing is more satisfying than – the latest Groupon offer that just showed up in my inbox for an Iceland Trip & Northern Lights Tour, starting at $795. I’ve always wanted to go to Iceland…. But right now, I am busy trying to get your attention about something more important. It’s that there are few things in this world more precious – than this video someone just posted of a pig that adopted a litter of orphaned calico kittens….
Sure I could spend my time glued to my computer for hours at a time checking out Instagram and Twitter or whatever is the hottest new social media site. But I have better things to do with my time, like – reading this email from Ted Ruz in which he rebuts Trump’s claim, making the case that Trump is an even bigger idiot….
In conclusion, what I am trying to say is, life is short. In the blink of an eye, you might discover that – celebrities Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Tasha McCauley just had a baby boy. And I don’t even have the foggiest clue who either of these people are. But I am so happy for them….
So remember to be present with the people in your – Twitter feed, where boobsnbeer237 shows that he can belch the national anthem…. It’s so easy to get distracted by all the latest shiny object email offers and silly Facebook videos posted every 3.7 seconds. If you’re not careful, you could easily spend all your time getting sucked into watching – this amazing hamster video. How in the world did he learn how to play Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star on a Casio player with such tiny paws? ….
It’s time to turn off your smart phone. Shut down your email. And go out and have a cup of – wait. Hold that thought. I have to take this text from Larry. It could be important….
Um, er, I think I have a problem. I should probably turn off my smart phone – which is precisely what I will do – right after I check this latest email from Hillary Clinton. Now this is interesting. She says that Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are both idiots….
For more of my humor go HERE.
Check out Tim Jones’ latest humor book: YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE: Misguided Parenting Strategies That Sounded Good at the Time