How ‘Away in a Manger’ Ruins the Greatest Story Ever Told | HumorOutcasts

How ‘Away in a Manger’ Ruins the Greatest Story Ever Told

January 6, 2016

It’s been a busy Christmas season, and now that I have a little down time I can reflect on Epiphany, which ends the 12 days of Christmas on 1/6/16.

manger 3

Epiphany is when the Three Wise Men visited the Baby Jesus. photo by Shallow Reflections

I wonder if one reason Santa Claus flying around on a sled with 8 tiny reindeer is so believable over the birth story of Jesus, is because people sang ‘Away in a Manger’ one too many times?

I know….I know it is a staple Christmas carol and has a lovely tune and is easy to sing. But you have to admit it is far-fetched. “The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes, but little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes.”

Who can relate to a newborn baby who doesn’t cry even in the midst of a bunch of noisy, smelly cattle? He was born a human but according to that song, not really.

Here is a better line from a lesser sung carol entitled ‘Once in Royal David’s City:’ “Jesus is our childhood’s pattern; day by day, like us He grew, He was little, weak and helpless, tears and smiles like us He knew; and He feeleth for our sadness, and He shareth in our gladness.”

He cried, he peed and pooped in his diaper, cut teeth, toddled around, and bumped his head on the coffee table as he learned to walk. He delighted his parents with his first smile and giggle.

He was like us.

What about those three Oriental kings bearing gifts who trudged to see the baby following a star? Epiphany commemorates their arrival at the birth cave. (He was actually born in a cave not a cute little barn, but the crèche industry would probably go bankrupt if they tried to sell little crèche caves).

Turns out the kings came from Ethiopia so they actually traveled from the west toward Bethlehem. And the gifts they brought were just weird. How many times have you seen Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh on someone’s baby register?

Gold makes sense; it is a precious metal and Mary and Joseph could have used it to start a college fund. Frankincense was resin from a tree and when burned gave off a mild aroma used in worship. Okay, kind of strange, but since Jesus is God, this was an appropriate gift.

But Myrrh! Do you know that back in those days they used myrrh in the embalming process? I can almost see Mary’s horrified expression as she unwrapped that little bombshell.

Here are the words to the 4th verse of ‘We Three Kings:’ “Myrrh is mine; its bitter perfume breathes a life of gathering gloom; sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying, sealed in the stone-cold tomb.”

Talk about the ultimate ‘Debbie Downer’ of this gift giving frenzy!

But we’ve read ahead and we know how the human story of Jesus tragically ends. It isn’t popular to mention this time of year during the glorious joy of birth, and presents, and Santa Claus. It’s messy like tears, dirty diapers, smelly cattle and dark, cold caves.

But do not despair.

The words of the 3rd verse of ‘Good Christian Friends, Rejoice’ says it better than I can: “Good Christian friends, rejoice with heart and soul and voice, now ye need not fear the grave; News, news! Jesus Christ was born to save! Calls you one and calls you all to gain his everlasting hall. Christ was born to save, Christ was born to save!”

What do you think of the words of ‘Away in the Manger?’ Do songs like this give a warped view of the Christian Story? Have you had an epiphany recently? Ever? What was it?

For more of my humor go HERE.

Molly Stevens

Molly Stevens is the award-winning author of the book Boomer on the Ledge, published by HumorOutcasts Press. The book is an adult picture book that explores the antics of an aging boomer. Molly believes humor is the emollient that soothes life’s rough patches and promotes these convictions in her blog: Shallow Reflections. She was the November 2017 Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop Humor Writer of the Month, and won third place in the 2017 National Society of Newspaper Columnists writing contest. She is a contributing author for These Summer Months: Stories from the Late Orphan Project, edited by Anne Born.

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2 Responses to How ‘Away in a Manger’ Ruins the Greatest Story Ever Told

  1. January 7, 2016 at 1:31 pm

    And some wine, for heaven’s sake. After what they’d been through, a celebratory drink would be in order, dontcha think?

  2. January 7, 2016 at 5:25 am

    The gifts never made sense to me. I’d want a case of diapers, a pile of blankets, and … yeah, I’d take the gold.

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