I hate this damn clock! | HumorOutcasts

I hate this damn clock!

March 13, 2016


Humility is a spiritual gift and it’s humbling to walk into a crowded church service during closing prayers. If it ever happens to you, my advice is to act casual. When all of the people smart enough to set their clocks ahead turn to stare at you, act as though you’re returning from a quick trip to the restroom—with your entire family.

I’m just thankful that the time change occurs on Sunday morning rather than on a weekday. My pastor is more forgiving than my employer is.

When will we learn? We rob a perfectly good hour of sleep from our morning so that we can go to bed an hour earlier tonight and chaos always ensues.

A few years ago, my family hosted a Japanese exchange student and we were visiting relatives a particular weekend in the spring.  She understood when we told her to set her watch ahead as we traveled east from Mountain Time to Central Time. But they don’t play with their clocks where she comes from, so she was confused on Saturday night, when we told her to set her clock ahead again because Daylight Saving Time would begin the next morning. She did it anyway, but the next day, as we headed back into Mountain Time to go home, we told her to set her clock BACK one hour. She asked if we were pulling one of those things Americans call April Fools jokes.

Because my son’s birthday falls on April 1, several times we held his party on the Sunday when Daylight Saving Time began. One year, a guest’s parents forgot about the time change and showed up one hour late. Fortunately, we still had cake and ice cream.

Another guest’s parents thought it was time to “fall back” an hour. They brought their child two hours late—just as the party was breaking up. We had no cake, no ice cream, and not much else either. My son still got the gift though.

It’s all very confusing. And it was important that I understood it, because back then, I brought the birthday boy.

Fortunately, I came up with a clever way to remember which way to set your clocks: In the spring, you spring out of bed because you’re an hour late. In the fall, you fall back into bed when you realize you’re not. Or at least, I do.

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Dorothy Rosby

I'm a South Dakota humorist whose humor column appears in newspapers in eleven Western and Midwestern states as well as nationally in Exceptional People Magazine. I'm the author of two the humor books including "I Didn't Know You Could Make Birthday Cake from Scratch, Parenting Blunders from Cradle to Empty Nest," published by HOPress.

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2 Responses to I hate this damn clock!

  1. Kathy Minicozzi
    March 14, 2016 at 6:21 pm

    You can always say, “spring forward, fall back.” However, it is also physically possible to fall FORWARD and to spring BACK, so some people, especially those who are prone to falling on their faces or being startled by spiders and loud noises, are still going to be confused.

    I just wrote a long, run-on sentence, which means I’m confused, too.

    Oh well.

  2. March 13, 2016 at 9:03 pm

    I so agree with you and the damn clock! I do like the fall back schedule though! Funny post!

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