I could never run for president: too many skeletons in the closet. I’m a thieving, crime breaking, citizen who could never survive being vetted. I sample the grapes before paying for them. I am a thief. I smoked and even inhaled. You can arrest me for drug possession. I’ve bought and killed an untold number of plants in my lifetime. I am a mass murderer. I told my kids they couldn’t eat dessert unless they first ate their vegetables. I am an extortionist.
Upon even further pondering, I may not even be a US citizen as it is a fact that my father spoke Hungarian before he spoke English. We’ve had a first Catholic, a first black man, and we may be in for our first woman as president, but I don’t think the country is ready for its first thieving, drug possessed, mass murdering, extortionist.
Then again, unlike our current congress, I do know how to compromise since I can verify that I’ve lived with a person of the opposite sex for over thirty years. Actually, this might make me an American hero.
Perhaps I’ll jump in the race after all.