Pabst; Miller; Schlitz; Hamm’s; Michelob; Ballantine; Iron City; Schaeffer; Rheingold; Blatz; Falstaff; Piel’s; Black Label; Coors; Lowenbrau; Knickerbocker; Grain Belt; Stroh’s; Olympia; Rainier; Genessee Cream Ale; Lone Star; Pearl; Shiner; Schmidt’s; Rolling Rock; Yuengling; Straub; Old Milwuakee; Milwaukee’s Best; Heileman’s Old Style; Berghoff; Leinenkugel; Point Special; Narragansett; Dixie; National Bohemian; Meister Brau; Utica Club; Billy Beer; Schmidt; Stag; Lucky Lager; Weideman; Hofbrau; Bartel’s; Ortlieb’s; Buckeye; and Olde Frothingslosh.

Bill Y "The Legendary Legend" Ledden

I’m not sure if this actually happened. I think it did. Would I swear on Bon Jovi’s life that it happened? Well, yes I would. Scurvy Jane and Thirsty Dave used to be a couple in the biblical sense; an item; the object of each others erection and to some extent, affliction. Jill Y and I are the premier matchmakers around town and around town is where we found ourselves with the thirsty one and the scurvy one. They had both just come out of relationships and I, in Jill Y’s infinite wisdom, thought it would be an extremely brilliant idea to get them back together again as a couple in the biblical sense; an item; the object of each others erection, despite their previous affliction. We laid down the ground rules around town and there was but one stipulation – they had to be 234% honest with each other. Terms were agreed and Scurvy J was first to cross-examine. She asked Thirsty D to put his hand on his heart and name his lovers of the past.

He applauded the question and with 234% honesty, began his recital: “Pabst; Miller; Schlitz; Hamm’s; Michelob; Ballantine; Iron City; Schaeffer; Rheingold; Blatz; Falstaff; Piel’s; Black Label; Coors; Lowenbrau; Knickerbocker; Grain Belt; Stroh’s; Olympia; Rainier; Genessee Cream Ale; Lone Star; Pearl; Shiner; Schmidt’s; Rolling Rock; Yuengling; Straub; Old Milwuakee; Milwaukee’s Best; Heileman’s Old Style; Berghoff; Leinenkugel; Point Special; Narragansett; Dixie; National Bohemian; Meister Brau; Utica Club; Billy Beer; Schmidt; Stag; Lucky Lager; Weideman; Hofbrau; Bartel’s; Ortlieb’s; Buckeye; and Olde Frothingslosh.” When Scurvy heard this, she covered her mouth with her hand but it was nothing like this…

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4 thoughts on “Pabst; Miller; Schlitz; Hamm’s; Michelob; Ballantine; Iron City; Schaeffer; Rheingold; Blatz; Falstaff; Piel’s; Black Label; Coors; Lowenbrau; Knickerbocker; Grain Belt; Stroh’s; Olympia; Rainier; Genessee Cream Ale; Lone Star; Pearl; Shiner; Schmidt’s; Rolling Rock; Yuengling; Straub; Old Milwuakee; Milwaukee’s Best; Heileman’s Old Style; Berghoff; Leinenkugel; Point Special; Narragansett; Dixie; National Bohemian; Meister Brau; Utica Club; Billy Beer; Schmidt; Stag; Lucky Lager; Weideman; Hofbrau; Bartel’s; Ortlieb’s; Buckeye; and Olde Frothingslosh.”

  1. I’m surprised Thirsty Dave remembered them without stopping to have a drink! Thirsty Dave, you are my hero, as are you Bill Y for your sober ability to type all of those names, lol!

  3. Another frog pond-erer.

    No Harp? No Killian’s? Is Thirsty Dave so stout that he ales not?

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