Rush Limbaugh Disproves Centuries of Science With Well-Researched Treatise | HumorOutcasts

Rush Limbaugh Disproves Centuries of Science With Well-Researched Treatise

June 3, 2016


Recently during his radio show, host Rush Limbaugh unwittingly destroyed many centuries’ worth of evolutionary science simply with an offhand quip about Harambe, the gorilla at the center of the recent Cincinnati Zoo incident. Limbaugh, well known for his rapier-like scientific acumen asked “Why are there still apes?” which was certainly the first time anyone had ever posed such a query concerning human evolution.

“Don’t doubt me on this. A lot of people think that all of us used to be gorillas, and they’re looking for the missing link out there. The evolution crowd. They think we were originally apes… If we were the original apes, then how come Harambe is still an ape, and how come he didn’t become one of us?”

It seemed so simple, almost as if he were just parroting inane catchphrases repeatedly uttered by people who are ignorant of science and make every concerted effort to remain that way, but despite no formal expertise in the field of evolutionary biology, Limbaugh actually does appear to be correct in his original, never before examined point. I recently sifted through all of my parents’ pictures of me as a child and nowhere did I appear to be an ape. (It was only later that similarities appeared.)

When presented with Limbaugh’s probing concern, some of the world’s top biologists were understandably stunned. British evolutionary biologist and author Richard Dawkins immediately slapped his own face with his hand, surely chastising himself for falling prey to the deception of infamous huckster Charles Darwin. Jerry Coyne, American professor of biology and author of “Why Evolution is True,” immediately vomited when confronted with Limbaugh’s assertion. While quite disgusting, it was an understandable reaction to learning that his entire life’s work has been a lie. Steven Jay Gould, the famed American paleontologist, evolutionary biologist, and historian of science, literally rolled over in his grave. The remaining chorus of speechless biologists issurely scrambling to rebuild what remains of its deceitful house of cards.

Never has a scientific takedown been so thorough since United States Senator James Inhofe (Oklahoma) destroyed decades of climate science simply by holding up a snowball on the Senate floor, and when Tennessee 3rd grader Jason Stiles told his science teacher that evolution “is only a theory.”

Richard Spall

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