The Sexy Side of Farming

farmstuff by DebMWebsterI know, you’re all wondering how in God’s little green acre is farming sexy? Let me explain. Farming is indeed sexy. Just ask the guys at my Farming Community Center, aka the local bar. Nothing gets farm folks frisky like being nudged at 5 o’clock in the morning, and having a farmer whispering in your ear, ‘Mornin’ honey, time for some serious hoeing.’ Farm guys love to say hoeing. That’s our queue to slip on our oh-so-sexy barn boots. They’re knee high old leather boots, generally covered in mud and horse and/or cow shit. Farm guys find that sexy.

And the Farms and Tractors brand weather worn work glove that are usually hard and crusty from liquid fertilizer. Farm guys find that sexy too. And, the bibbed overalls worn over the classic farmer plaid shirt, FG’s (as they’re referred to in the farm community) find these extremely sexy. What dude doesn’t want to see a woman in overalls? The sweat stained baseball cap and/or straw cowboy hat. Farm guys find these ever so sexy; much sexier than those Vickie’s Secrets outfits. Also the phrase, ‘Sweatin’ like a pig in August’, can and has been used as a term of endearment, i.e. “You got me sweatin’ like a pig . . .” You get the idea.

Now you may ask, why else would farm guys find farming so sexy? Besides all of the above -it’s the tractors, and women who drive tractors . . . and, the barns. They’re like the strip club for FG’s. Besides, woman think tractors are sexy, right? Don’t believe me? Ask Kenny Chesney, he sang a song about it. I don’t remember all of the lyrics but it says something about them being sexy and guys with farmer’s tans and like girls who think they’re sexy; But the truth be told, it’s the tractors. You know those big, green, slow moving vehicles with a deer or moose on the side. Nothing is more hilarious than a college tuba band playing, Sweet Caroline. Sorry, I’m also watching the ACC Tournament Pittsburgh vs. North Carolina, but I digress.

So, where was I? Oh yes . . . sexy farming in the nude. Oops, sorry again. That was my dream from two nights ago. Let me end this bit of ridiculousness by saying farming can be sexy. It can even be sexy like content from websites such as animehentaivideos xxx. Or perhaps what I’m trying to convey [to non-farming folks or gardening enthusiasts] is that sexy farming is in the eye of the beholder – it’s all perspective. And that’s the moral of this non sequitur post. Keep your perspective sexy and the rest of your life will be sexy, I think, I don’t know. Anyways, it’s 8 PM and all good farmers are ready to hit the hay. Another farm term I never understood. Why would anyone want to hit an innocent bale of hay? But we do love to make hay while the sun shines or is it moonshine. Carolina just scored a three pointer!

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6 thoughts on “The Sexy Side of Farming”

  1. Over here, we have the Puck Fair – yep, that’s what it’s called and it goes a little something like this:

    Puck Fair is one of Ireland’s oldest festivals, celebrating almost 400 years of documented evidence. Where else but in Ireland would a wild mountain goat be crowned King and reign over a town for three days? Killorglin – where a goat is King and people act the goat!

    1. LOL, that’s funny Bill Y. Sort of like the Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling of and Wake in England, where the locals get drunk and chase a 9 lb round of Gloucester down a steep hill! I wouldn’t want to muck that barn after that event!

  2. Oh, Deb you just breathed new life into my barn clothes and boots. And all this time I’ve thought I was the only one who believed farm fashion was sexy.Thank you!

    1. Farm wear is bringing sexy back Mary! Nothing compares to a hard working farm gal decked out in barbed wired slashed jeans,a white tee shirt, and of course all must be splattered with mud. 😉

    1. Donna, there is still the “Down and Dirty” activity on the farm, but it usually involves young cattle . . . I’m talkin’ about castration. Get you’re mind out of the gutter, LOL!

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