Dear Toilet:

You know how much I hate mopping floors. If you even HINT that you are going to overflow again and flood my bathroom floor and the adjacent hallway, I will not only rip you from the floor and throw you into the basement with the rest of the trash, I will personally load you onto the Sanitation Department truck that will take you to the city dump. I’ll even ride with the Sanitation guys to the dump, to make sure they put you in the dirtiest, smelliest part of it.

You will be replaced with a younger model.

Consider this a warning. Ignore it, and you will be sorry. Obey it and I’ll let you live.

Your owner,

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10 thoughts on “Warning”

    1. Okay. I am going to check this post every day to see what new puns my clever fellow writers come up with!

  1. Don’t blame the toilet too much. Pooping in and of itself is a terrible process, and I pray one day that humans will evolve to where their bodies will be able to metabolize everything they ingest without the need to produce waste products.

    1. Yes. Whatever happened to good old fashioned manners? My grandmother would never flood the bathroom floor! 😉

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