I was driving along in my car, and I heard this story about a company that will press one’s ashes into a vinyl record(www.andvinyly.com). Obviously, they can’t do this until one expires, but how cool is this? I have planned on cremation for myself, but this gives my departure quite the dramatic twist. So, in case I go and my family is too upset to think about this (chances are that will not be the case), I am putting down in writing what vinyl records would make a great eternal resting place for me.
Two cremation caveats for this plan: First, my family needs to get a record player or else what’s the point of me living in vinyl, and second, someone please make sure they don’t accidentally hock me at the vintage record store for three bucks. I don’t want to spend eternity in the living room of an ex-hippie whose only activities in life are smoking weed and bragging that the Grateful Dead is the best band ever.
Okay, on to my ten top acceptable records:
- Donna by Richie Valens – I think this choice is pretty obvious.
- Born to be Wild by Steppenwolf – I like to think I was born to be wild before I was dead in vinyl.
- Dust in the Wind by Kansas – Can’t have a good death experience without this upbeat tune.
- How Not to Be Surprised When You’re a Ghost by Charlotte Church – the lyrics of this song might not really fit but the title is awesome. It sounds like an operations manual for the afterlife.
- Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys. I like the idea of sending out positive vibes to those left behind. It’s good karma.
- Spirit in the Night by Bruce Springsteen – Again, title is the key here, but my interpretation: Your nights are not going to be quiet. I have lots to say and I can be noisy. For all of you who were mean to me, I’m coming back to make your life a lot less pleasant. I think the White House might be my first stop.
- Yesterday by the Beatles – some self-deprecating humor here. Let’s face facts–if I am pressed into the vinyl today, I was probably much happier Yesterday.
- Witchy Woman by the Eagles – She’s got spunk — I like that, and it has a mysterious air to it.
- Get Off of My Cloud by the Rolling Stones– I don’t like to complain, but I am not sharing accommodations in the afterlife.
AND drum roll please:
10. She’s Gone by Hall & Oates. Simple but it says it.