ARLINGTON, Virginia. With Thanksgiving recess approaching, Democratic and Republican legislators adjourned yesterday afternoon for Laser Tag at the Fun Time Play Zone, an indoor arcade in this suburb of Washington, bringing smiles to many facing burn-out from bruising mid-term elections.
Democratic caucus.
“I nailed ol’ Dingleberry Pelosi square in the back,” Senator Pat Roberts (R-Kan.) said with a smile as he removed his LazerWare jacket. “She can run through the maze, but she can’t get away from me.”
Roberts: “I put ol’ Nancy’s derriere back in her chairiere.”
Lasertag is played as a team or individual sport, with players attempting to score by hitting targets on their opponents with an infrared-emitting “tagger.” Laser tag can be played either indoors or outdoors, and may incorporate combat simulation, role-playing, and Shiatzu massage depending on the number, sex and species of the players.
First-term Congressperson from the 7th District of Illinois.
“I thought it was important that we send a message to the American people that the old confrontational style of politics was out the window,” said Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-Conn). “We want a new style of confrontation, where you can win cheesy prizes for zapping somebody with a ray gun.”
Blumenthal: “I wanted the pink Power Ranger prize, not the green one.”
Democrat Chris Coons, junior Senator from Delaware, was twice cited for aiming his gun at Republicans’ faces. “Here’s some of my witchcraft,” he shouted as he blasted infrared light at Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.)
McConnell reported the violation to Fun Time Play Zone management, claiming that the flash had blinded him, throwing off his aim. Security personnel provided him with eyewash, then administered a precautionary wedgie.
McConnell: “I get two votes because I have two chins.”
When McConnell complained of the rough treatment he was escorted from the premises by bouncers, whose parting shot to the Kentucky Republican was “If you don’t like it, you and both of your chins can take it to the United Nations!”
Brilliant!