Valentine’s Day used to hold such romantic feelings for me. I can remember back in high school my fellow female students would look forward to see if the boys we liked (usually from one of our brother schools) would show up at our campus with single roses in hand, ready to whisk us away for an afternoon of romance. Everyone would coo with delight or jealousy if you weren’t on the receiving end a rose. (Girls are tough).
Fast forward to college where Valentine’s Day was a somewhat nice dinner out and free drinks at the college pub followed by a tumble back at the dorm. Then in full adulthood, we saw the Kay’s commercials reinforcing to women that we want diamond rings, a dozen roses for $99 (because nothing says love like overspending on flowers that will be dead in three days) and a reservation at a “dress up” restaurant. In my fantasy world, that’s anywhere where I don’t have to order at the counter.
I’m not against Valentine’s Day. I always liked it, but I would like to take a moment to tell you what I want now for this special day.
- I want a $1000 gift card to Home Depot. I’m not kidding. My interest these days has gone from diamond jewelry to diamond blades for a miter saw. You know what would get me really hot? New kitchen flooring and maybe a new toilet in my master bathroom. Talk about fantasy. A good bowl could equal a fun roll…you finish that thought.
- I want a new vacuum. Yep, I said it. A vacuum. This isn’t a trap to get my husband in trouble. I want one of those Bissell things that washes and vacuums the floor and rug at the same time. That to me is the most romantic gift one can get. Imagine the time it would save me, and vacuums nowadays are sort of pretty. I am open to starting a new tradition—the romance in a clean home.
- I want new walking shoes. I go through sneakers like most people go through produce. I am constantly walking and my Fitbit proves it. A gift certificate to DSW would be most appreciated since they carry the best selection is size 5 ½ or 6 shoes. Hey, if I get a big gift certificate, I might buy a pair of stilettos just to show off my sexy side…does Adidas make stilettos? Oh well, when they do, I ‘ll get some.
- Someone to clear off my kitchen table of mail, receipts and all collected junk. I can’t find the place mats half the time. The last time they peeked through the crap, there were pumpkins and witches on them. We come into the house, dump the mail and promise to sort it out on the weekend. Never happens.
- I want manners. I would love to experience a week where people are kinder, patient and willing to cut everyone in their lives some slack. I would cherish a week where the words thank you, I’m sorry and especially, that’s okay, everyone makes mistakes rolls off people’s lips without effort.
- And finally, in the spirit of indulgence and total selfishness, I want a dozen no-calorie, no-fat, jelly-filled, sweet and gooey doughnuts. It takes so little to keep me happy.