Newsworthy chickens from coast to coast

I learned of a trend this week that has me scratching my head. Dwellers of the virtual ivory towers of Silicon Valley feel disconnected from nature, and they are turning to chickens to fill the void.

I am happy to say a woman is reaping the financial rewards of this hot new craze. Leslie Citroen never imagined her hobby of raising chickens would result in a profitable business.

But now she is helping white-collar families raise exotic breeds of barnyard fowl, and building coops for them that cost ‘tens of thousands of dollars.’ According to the news report, this new lifestyle helps suburbanites unite with the concept of farm and food.

Having grown up on a farm, I chuckle at the idea of city slickers having a ‘farm experience’ when they feed chickens organic salmon and put them to bed in luxury condominiums.

I’m the youngest and don’t remember when we had chickens on our farm. But I heard my mother sputter when she reminisced about it. Feeding them was an endless chore, followed by cleaning the prolific stinky mess they left behind.

Her anti-love affair with the chickens reached its pinnacle on butchering day. That’s when my mild-mannered mother wielded an ax to cut off their peckish little heads. Next came the task of plucking feathers, labor that made roasting them even more satisfying.

I wonder if the chicken whisperers in California are embracing the full farm to table experience as my mother did? Will their privileged chickens find themselves baked in a pot pie or sandwiched between slices of homemade bread? Or are the owners helping their upper-crust chickens live long, healthy lives, burying their pets in the backyard when they die of old age?

In other poultry news, it seems a chicken wandered into the parking lot of a Maine Olive Garden. My theory is the rooster planned to protest the claim that the alfredo sauce is made daily from scratch. And demand the exclusion of Chicken Alfredo from the ‘never-ending classics’ promotion.

But the Augusta Police Department believe the chicken’s motive was a specific hankering and had this to report on their Facebook page:

“Officers responded to the parking lot of the Olive Garden in Augusta for a report of a wayward chicken with a craving for soup, salad and breadsticks. An epic 20 minute foot pursuit ensued, spanning an area totaling upwards of 50 feet with the beaked bandit initially having the upper hand zigging when expected to zag. As the bird headed for Interstate on ramp and the high speeds of I-95 northbound, Augusta PD’s SNAT (Special Nets and Tactics) Team arrived on scene and apprehended the absconding bird without further incident. Anyone with knowledge of the owner or guardian of this rascal contact Augusta PD at 207-626-2370.”

If no one claims the chicken, I expect a California family to adopt him. He may not have the requisite pedigree, but his grit and celebrity status will grant him high ranks in the pecking order.

What’s your relationship with chickens? Do you raise them? Eat them? Are you relieved I didn’t include a joke about why they cross the road?

For more of my humor go HERE.

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One thought on “Newsworthy chickens from coast to coast”

  1. Tens of thousands of dollars? My wife wants chickens when we get a place out in the country … she plans to use wood pallets, and estimates her coop will cost us about two bucks for nails.

    That police report is exactly the kind of thing I’d do, which is why my department doesn’t let me do the news releases anymore.

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