New Years Resolutions: Expectation vs Reality | HumorOutcasts

New Years Resolutions: Expectation vs Reality

January 4, 2019

“Well, for my New Years resolution, I think I’m going to start running” says the overweight, smoking, 42 year old CPA sitting in the bar drinking his 3rd beer talking to his buddy sitting next to him who also works for the same company and is his longtime friend from high school.

“I mean, why not? I ran track in high school and runners drink beer so it should be pretty easy, right?”

“Sure,” says his buddy, “Let’s sign up for a 5K this weekend, should be a piece of cake.”

Sitting two stools down from them is an older, slightly graying man, who, while drinking a beer, is much leaner and from the looks of it, in pretty good shape. He turns from his seat and in a quiet voice says “I don’t mean to intrude but I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation. Might I suggest that you start out with a gradual training program before you sign up for a run?”

In response, the other two turn to him and reply “Thanks old man but we know what we’re doing. We’ll be able to ace it.” To which he replies “Well, good luck to you. Just remember that there can be a big difference between expectations and reality.”

Race Day

“Let’s get in line up front. We’ll go out fast and blow everyone away with a quick start. Just look at that group of oldsters and there is even a mother pushing a baby carriage with two kids. No sweat, we’ve got this locked up.”

Mile one:

“Isn’t that the old guy from the bar the other night who just passed us at mile one?”

Mile two:

“Isn’t that the mother with the baby carriage that just passed us at mile two?”

Finish line:

“Why are they getting ready to close the finishing gate?”

Looking back, they realize that they are the last ones to finish.

“Isn’t that the old guy up on the finishers’ podium?”

“Yes, they just announced that he got a medal for finishing first in this age group.”

“Hmmm, I guess that’s what he meant when he said there was a difference between expectations and reality!”


Roger Hollis

Air Force veteran, a veteran of 30+ years in the corporate world. Published in Medical Devices magazine. Illustrator for "1000 Ways in 1000 Days" available on Amazon. Long time runner. Author of "Running Log" also available on Amazon

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One Response to New Years Resolutions: Expectation vs Reality

  1. January 5, 2019 at 1:16 am

    How about I work on walking, first? I can walk to the rescue truck, because heart attacks go up in January. Coincidence?

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