“Hey there, boys and girls! This is Jon Bon Jovi talkin’ at ya and giving you a big shout out about that article you wrote about me recently. It’s always nice to know that people still remember me, even if all those people aren’t especially nice to me in return. (You all know who I am talkin’ about.)”
“So, as a big ‘Thank You’ to all the writer’s and staff there at Humoroutcasts, I would like to give you all a very special present in return. For having written about me and my project and for having always kept my name in print (that being mostly one person in particular again) I am going to, through the wonders of our modern computer age, have a great morning wake-up call specially and remotely installed in all your phones and computers featuring one of my biggest hits- ‘Livin’ On A Prayer’ to get you all out of bed all bright eyed and bushy tailed every morning at 4 AM. This wonderful little addition to your life will not cost you a cent and will be a constant reminder of my love and gratitude for you. I know, I know; you are feeling so thankful for this service I am giving you for free.”
“Now, in addition to that, I have an extra special present for that great fan of mine at Humoroutcasts known among you as “The Legendary Legend”. For him and him only I will have implanted into his phones circuits’ every day an extra special wake up call starting at 2 AM and running continuously until 7 AM not just one of my great hits, but, dig this, ALL of my greatest hits played at FULL volume (the level will also be controlled remotely) on a CONTINUOUS LOOP!!!! Can you imagine anything more wonderful??!!
Now, once these unbelievable wake up calls are installed into you communication devices they cannot be removed, so that you can enjoy them YOUR WHOLE LIFE LONG!!! Isn’t that just way too supercalifragilistic? Also they cannot be diddled with otherwise it sends your whole phone/computer system into electronic shock and then into electronic purgatory for all infinity. The set ups are, well, permanent. Just think- you get to enjoy them for the WHOLE rest of your LIFE!!!. Because they are set up for AUTOMATIC RENEWAL any time you get a new computer or phone. Isn’t that just too great to believe?
That’s what I thought! That is why I set it up for you that way.
Especially for you Mr. Legendary Legend! Now everybody go out and have an OK day!