Addressing a raucous, unmasked crowd in front of the state capitol building in Frankfort, Kentucky on Sunday, Senator Mitch McConnell vowed to lower the integrity of the United States Senate to “previously unimaginable depths.” Shouting until he was hoarse, McConnell indicated that “with your support, I know I can do this. Without the slightest bit of compunction, and using a laughably lame justification, I have reversed my 2016 position on not filling Supreme Court vacancies in a Presidential election year. Now it’s full-steam ahead, boys and girls! My goal is to make the U. S. Senate less trustworthy, and more reviled, than a pedophile selling cotton candy to kindergarteners from a dilapidated utility van on the outskirts of town during a blackout.
“I may be a craven, mendacious, political thug, but I’m YOUR craven, mendacious political thug!
“On to November!!!”