Caught in a Massive Lie, Kevin McCarthy Acknowledges That He is the “Worst Person EVER”

“I disgust myself,” House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy confessed yesterday in a press conference.  “I told a bald-faced lie to the American people last year about what I had said in a phone call concerning Donald Trump.  But I don’t think I should step down from my leadership position in the House of Representatives.  I didn’t disembowel or kill anyone.  OK, I did try to hit Kamala Harris with my car a few weeks ago as she crossed Pennsylvania Avenue, but I missed her.  No harm, no foul.

“I admit that there may be something wrong with me.  In 1975 Vladimir Putin taught a class on how to strangle kittens when he was a counselor at Smoking Rubble Youth Camp in the Poconos, and Rand Paul and I were the only kids who seemed to enjoy it.”



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